


Healing Hearts

by Teacupsroses (TJfan72)



Series: Hearts [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TJfan72/pseuds/Teacupsroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rumple has a heart attack in NYC, Henry begs his step-grandmother to take him to NYC. What follows may finally provide a chance for Rumplestiltskin, Belle and Henry to come together as a family as Rumplestiltskin's life is threatened by a foe they'd all thought was dead. AU to episode 4x18 "Heart of Gold"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartbreaking News

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this. I was going to post it this past weekend, but well - health issues. Right now, my chapter breakout for this story has 30 chapters. Although Henry, Belle and Rumple are the main characters, all of the main OUAT characters will make appearances at various points in the story as the characters in Storybrooke are drawn into the events happening in New York. This story is an AU to episode 4x18 "Heart of Gold", so some of the chapters will mirror pretty closely events from the actual episode.

**Chapter 1: Heartbreaking News**

There was a momentary pause on the other end of the line before a familiar voice finally countered with a question of its own. "Henry?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm at the library with my grandma and was closer to her phone when it rang." He knew that he should just hand the phone to his grandmother – it was her phone Robin had called, after all – but he was too curious for his own good and Belle seemed to be in no hurry to ask him to hand the phone over. Even though she was now sitting down, she still looked far too pale and instead of walking her home, he wondered whether he should just call someone to come over and drive her home.

As he pondered the question, he heard what sounded like a loudspeaker announcement in the background at the other end of the line, drawing his attention back to the phone pressed to his ear. Someone was being paged to… _radiology_? Why was Robin at a hospital? Was something wrong with him or Roland? Or had leaving the magic of Storybrooke behind not been the miraculous cure for Marian that everyone thought that it would be? But if any of those were the case, why would he be calling his grandmother? Did he need her to research something?

"Robin, is something wrong?" he asked, worried. "From the background noise, it sounds like you're at a hospital."

"Yeah, I am, Henry," Robin replied with a sigh. There was another long pause. "I was calling to talk to Belle, but I suppose it's good that you're there. This…well, I have news that concerns you, too."

"Concerns me?" he asked in confusion. "What news could you have for my grandma that…" His voice trailed off, his heart sinking as he made the connection. His blood went cold, fear creeping into his thoughts. There was only one reason that he could think of why Robin could be calling his grandmother that would be of interest to him as well. Robin had to be calling about his grandfather.

He barely paused for breath as the next words tumbled from his mouth. "You've seen Grandpa, haven't you? Is he why you're at a hospital? Did something happen to him? Is he gonna be okay?"

His grandmother's eyes went wide at his questions and she finally motioned for the phone. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he glanced at it then pressed a button. "Robin," he said, his voice shaking slightly as he barely managed to conceal the fear overtaking him, "I've put you on speaker phone."

"Robin?" Belle interjected, sliding her chair closer to Henry. Her voice was calm, perhaps too calm, he thought as she rested her forearms on the desk in front of her. "Is Henry correct? Have you seen Rumple?"

"Yes, I have," Robin replied. "He showed up at Baelfire's apartment and we…it doesn't matter. What's important is he collapsed and we had to call an ambulance. That's why we're at the hospital. Marian and I spoke to the doctor briefly, and she told us that it appears Rumplestiltskin had a heart attack. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, but the doctor doesn't seem to be concerned about that. They said sedated him while they ran some tests. When I told the doctor that we were from the same town and that I knew his family, I was told that it would be best to call…just in case."

A cold shiver went through Henry at Robin's last words. Looking down at the floor, he struggled to blink back tears. He'd spent the better part of the last week optimistically expecting his grandfather to be working on making his way home, but he had been on his way to New York, to the place where they had finally found his dad and now…

He leaned against the counter, remembering that trip to Manhattan over a year ago. He'd been so excited at the idea of meeting Baelfire. The stories in his book concerning Baelfire had been sad, and he had been excited at the idea that Rumplestiltskin and Baelfire could have a happy ending, his grandfather's status as the Dark One notwithstanding.

There had been no happily ever after in this fairy tale, however. First, they thought his dad had been killed by Tamara only for him to show up alive in Neverland. His grandfather had then sacrificed himself to stop Pan. Once Henry had regained his memories of his life in Storybrooke, he was confused to find that his grandfather was alive while his father was dead, apparently for real this time.

After their conversation during the blackout, Henry had begun to wonder if maybe he could have a real grandfather-grandson relationship with his grandfather. Sure, he had known his grandfather his entire life – he had at turns been fearful of him, probably mostly based on picking up on the feelings of the rest of the town towards Mr. Gold under the curse, and oddly fascinated by him. He had eventually realized that even before they had found out about their relationship, his grandfather had seemed fond of him and that he was one of the few people that Gold could actually manage to have a somewhat pleasant conversation with. During the time when he, his father and his grandfather had been trying to navigate the often choppy waters of their relationships with each other, he had wondered if perhaps his grandfather saw something of his father in him. He had thought about asking, hoping to find out more about his father, but he had never had a chance.

Henry was brought out of his musing by his grandmother's increasingly shaky voice. "Just how bad is it, Robin?" she asked. At the same time wanting to offer comfort and needing the same, he reached out and clasped his grandmother's hand in his. Her eyes filling with tears, Belle squeezed his hand.

Robin sighed sadly. "It's bad, Belle," he finally said after a long moment. "The doctor…well, she talked about needing a family member to be notified, just in case…there are decisions to be made, she said."

"What decisions?" Belle asked, confused.

"I'm not really sure," Robin replied. He had spent less than a week in the Land Without Magic and Henry realized that whatever the doctor was talking about, Robin was expected to know already. He made a mental note to himself to ask his mother, but whatever it was, he had a feeling that it was not good.

"So do you think they need someone to come to New York?" Henry asked suddenly without even thinking about the question first. After the words were out of his mouth, he realized how right they sounded. He needed to be there for his grandfather – and so did his grandmother.

Belle gave a small gasp of surprise, her fingers tightening around his. Nervously, he looked into his grandmother's eyes, sensing apprehension and something else he couldn't quite determine. "Is Henry right, Robin?" she asked. "Does…" She broke off, swiping at her tear-filled eyes with her free hand.

"Belle…" Robin began with obvious reluctance. Henry closed his eyes, fearing what Robin was about to say. He could sense it in his tone. "The doctor would not tell me and Marion much because we're not family, but I think…in the outside world…" His voice got quieter, "without magic…"

Belle and Henry finished his sentence at the same time.

"Rumple may not survive."

"Grandpa may not survive."

 


	2. Running Around In Circles In My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry begins making plans to travel to New York while Belle is a bit more reluctant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to post this a few days ago - before I had surgery - but it didn't happen. Sorry. I'm not going to make any promises about how quickly updates are going to come. The surgery I had was shoulder/collarbone surgery, so writing is a wee bit difficult right now (even with drugs - this surgery hurt like h - e - double hockey sticks).

**Chapter 2 – Running Around In Circles In My Mind**  
  


Belle could barely remember the rest of the conversation with Robin, four words repeating in her mind like a mantra. _Rumple may not survive. Rumple may not survive. Rumple may not survive._

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to find a place outside Storybrooke, make a new life for himself without being able to use magic to hurt anyone ever again, and everyone would live happily ever after. He wasn’t supposed to fall down dying in a strange city less than a week after leaving his family and the only home he’d known for 30 years.

Had banishing him been tantamount to a death sentence? Physically, by the standards of the Land Without Magic, she knew he gave the appearance of someone in his mid-50s – not particularly old by this land’s standards. In reality, he was well over 300 years old – which was old even by the standards of the Enchanted Forest. Had his body’s true age caught up with him?

She shook her head. That didn’t make sense. He had been outside Storybrooke before, but that had only been for a few days before Hook’s murder attempt had brought him back and Cora’s death in exchange for his life had undone any damage. Then there was his sacrifice to save them from Pan and his year’s captivity at the hands of the witch. What further damage had been done by him that his magic had possibly been covering up?

Her eyes swept the library before her, a frustrated sigh escaping her lips. She doubted that there was much – if anything – in her extensive library that would cover the effects of the Land Without Magic on a magical being. Usually, she at least had a place to start when it came to research, even if it was only barely related to the subject at hand. In this case…

“Hey, Grandma,” Henry said. Belle shook her head, startled out of her thoughts. Ever since Robin’s confirmation of Rumple’s grim prognosis, she had barely registered Henry’s presence, completely wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Does this computer have internet access?”

She forced herself to focus on him, half surprised to find him still sitting next to her, one of her hands still wrapped in his. He was motioning with his free hand towards the computer that sat at the end of the circulation desk. “Yes,” she replied, confused. “Rum…your grandfather found someone who had computer knowledge from the curse to set up a network for the library when I first started setting it up. Why?”

“New York is the largest city in the United States,” Henry explained with a shrug as he pulled his hand from hers, sliding his chair towards the computer, “one of the largest in the world. I don’t think you’d really want to drive there, so we need to buy plane tickets on the internet. When Mom and I went there with Grandpa to find Dad, we flew to New York from Boston and when we lived there, Mom’s car sat in a garage for most of that year. Mom can drive us to Logan Airport – getting there from Storybrooke isn’t that big a deal - and…”

“Henry, slow down,” Belle said, suddenly overwhelmed. “Why would we need to fly to New York?”

“Well, driving would be faster, I guess,” he said as he started punching keys on the keyboard, pulling up a search engine in the internet browser, “until we get stuck in city traffic, which is _nothing_ like driving in Storybrooke. But you’ve only ever driven in Storybrooke, so unless we bring Mom with us, we’re probably better off flying and taking taxis and the subway once in the city.”

Belle studied him as he punched away at the keyboard, feeling like they were having two separate conversations. “No,” she said slowly, “why go to New York?”

Henry started at her in silence for a long moment, his eyes wide. “I’m going to New York,” he finally told her. “Although I’ve done it before, I’d prefer _not_ to run away from home this time. I could take Mom with me – I could probably talk either one of them into it without too much trouble – but you’re Grandpa’s family, too. You need to be the one to come with me.”

“Robin is giving the hospital my phone numbers,” Belle argued weakly. She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t ready for this. “They can call me and I can look through some stuff here, see if I can find something that might help…”

“Anything you find in these books,” Henry interrupted, “isn’t going to help Grandpa out there and if there is something magical that can help him, he’d have to come back to Storybrooke for that to work.”

“He can’t come back,” she whispered, almost to herself.

“What if that’s the only way?” Henry asked. “What if the only way to save Grandpa’s life is to bring him back to Storybrooke so that he can be healed by magic? You don’t want him to die.”

“Of course not!” she said without thinking. “But you don’t know what he’s…” She turned away from him, wrapping her arms around herself, overwhelmed.

“Know what?” Henry persisted. “About the Sorcerer’s Hat? About Grandpa almost crushing Killian’s heart? About him trapping the fairies? About him almost trapping Mom in the Hat before that? Unless there’s something else that I haven’t yet overheard any of you guys talking about that I’m not supposed to know, I’m pretty sure I already know _what_ Grandpa did.”

“Then you know why it’s not that simple,” she countered, taking a shaky breath. “We would all need to talk about it first, to decide…”

“The way you all talked about it before _you_ forced Grandpa over the town line?” Henry demanded, jumping up from his chair, pushing it away. Belle stared at him, startled at the anger in his tone. “I _heard_ you telling everyone else what happened the next morning, how you used the dagger on him. How could you do that to him? Why?”

“If you know what he did,” she said, “then you know why.”

He shook his head. “No,” he said. “You had the dagger. Did you ask him why? He would have had to answer you truthfully, right?”

Belle stared at him in shock, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. His words echoed in her head. _Did you ask him why? Did you ask him why? Did you ask him why?_

When she didn’t answer, he continued, “Do you remember what Mom said just before we left for New York?”

Confused, she shook her head. Aside from not seeing the connection to what was happening now, she barely remembered anything from those final moments in Storybrooke after Rumple had called her his strength… _his strength_.

“Mom said she thought she was supposed to bring back everyone’s happy endings,” he reminded her, swallowing hard. “What was Grandpa’s happy ending?”

She blinked back tears, her eyes widening. “Baelfire,” she said softly. The son he’d spent 300 years trying to reunite with. The son he’d died to save, who had in turn given his life to bring his father back. The son who had not even been gone a couple of months.

Henry nodded, his own eyes filled with tears. “Do you remember when you came back from your honeymoon and found me in the shop?” he asked. She nodded. “Did Grandpa tell you what we talked about?”

“He said you wanted to forget again,” she said. She started to reach out towards him, but then dropped her hand. “You wanted your fake memories back. You were mad at Regina and wanted to forget her.”

“That wasn’t the whole story,” he admitted, bowing his head. “I couldn’t tell…the last thing I remembered before Mom changed my memories was that Grandpa had died and Dad was going back to the Enchanted Forest. Then after we came back to Storybrooke, Mom – Emma – told me that my dad had died, but it didn’t mean anything to me because the only thing I knew about my dad was that he had abandoned us before I was born. When my memories came back, I was overwhelmed, because the last thing I remembered was Dad was alive, but then he wasn’t.”

“You wanted to forget your dad,” she said sadly. What kind of pain had driven him to that? And if Henry had been in that much pain over Baelfire’s death…

“Not really,” he said with a sigh, leaning against the circulation desk as he looked back up at her. “It was more about forgetting the pain – knowing that the man who was biologically my father had died did not hurt as much as knowing that the man I loved as Dad was dead. That conversation made me think about something when I thought more about it later. Grandpa spent over 300 years trying to get back with Dad only to be torn away from him again, this time permanently. Add to that what that witch must have done to him when she had his dagger....”

“The first order she gave him,” she remembered, “was for him to kill me.” She had wanted to believe that he would have been able to resist the command, that their True Love would have been stronger than being commanded by the dagger, but she knew it wasn’t true. After his resurrection, she had spent months combing through every reference she could find on the dagger, only to find nothing to even give her any hope that he could fight the compulsion long enough to allow True Love’s Kiss to break the curse. If the witch could order him to kill his True Love with barely a thought, what else had she made him do? She had also locked him in a cage for a year. What other scars had the witch left on his psyche that he had never let her see?

“How much has Grandpa been hurting that he hasn’t told anyone about?” Henry wondered. “He’s seemed pretty much like his normal self, right, except for the stuff for the Hat?”

“Except for the Hat,” Belle agreed with a nod.

“Which brings us back to _why_ ,” he continued. “Most of the stuff about Rumplestiltskin in my book is behind the scenes stuff – he’s almost never a main player in most of the stories he’s in – but most of the stuff he does, there’s _always_ a reason. Even when he made that second deal with Cinderella and got imprisoned just before the curse was cast, there was a _reason_ , even if it wasn’t obvious at the time the book was written.”

“Okay,” she said, “even if I agree that is true, what reason could possibly excuse what he did?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “but we’ll never know if we don’t ask him. There are a few things that I do know, though.” He counted off on his fingers as he listed the reasons. “First, there are over 300 years of history between Grandpa, Killian and the fairies. It’s not completely black and white – from either side. I wouldn’t take just Killian’s word for what happened there. Second, my other mom has done far worse than Grandpa did with the Hat and no one has banished her from Storybrooke – or even considered it that I’m aware – yet you sent Grandpa away without even letting him say a word in his defense. Third, as Mom told Killian the other night, if Grandpa had really wanted to trap her in the hat, she probably could not have stopped him. He let her walk away.

And finally, he is still my grandfather and he is lying in a hospital in a strange city, possibly dying. Right now, I don’t care what he has done.” He paused, taking in a shaky breath, tears falling freely. “My dad died not even two months ago and I never even got to say goodbye to him. He died never knowing that I remembered him or how much I loved him. If I’m going to lose my only living link to Dad, I will not go through that again. Grandpa’s going to know that…”

“Oh, Henry,” she whispered, stunned anew at the depth of his pain. She longed to reach out for him, to take him in her arms and comfort him, but she wasn’t sure he would accept it, not from her. She reached for her abandoned phone and quickly sent a text to Emma, asking her to come to the library, figuring that of his two mothers, he needed the one who had loved Baelfire as much as he had.

“Please, Grandma,” he pleaded. “He needs us. Grandpa needs his family to love him.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, slight change (for those of you who previously read that Chapter 3 would be "It's All Coming Back To Me") - I ended up swapping chapters 3 and 4 for several reasons. "It's All Coming Back To Me", in which Belle thinks about the points Henry has brought up in this chapter, will now be Chapter 4.
> 
> Chapter 3 is now "Speaking Words Of Wisdom" - after dropping Belle off at home, Henry has a talk with his mothers about Rumple's illness and his plans. Arguments ensue, with understanding coming from one of his mothers.


	3. Speaking Words Of Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry fills his mothers in about Rumple’s condition and tells them he wants to go to New York. Arguments ensue, with understanding coming from one of his mothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some things kept bugging me about this story overall and I had a sense of what they were but not how to fix them. I won’t go into a long and involved explanation of what was bugging me and why, but the fix turned out to be fairly simple - to flip chapters 3 and 4. So sorry, no Belle in this chapter as originally advertised (“It’s All Coming Back To Me” will now be chapter 4). What was originally chapter 4, “Speaking Words Of Wisdom,” is now chapter 3. Chapters 3 and 4 take place concurrently, but with the way the two chapters begin and end, it works better for this one to come first. That will make more sense I hope after you read chapter 4. Plus the flip fixes a couple other issues I was having with flow and POV. It’s amazing what comes to you when your head is not pounding with the sinus infection from hell (which is what I’ve been dealing with going back to last weekend).
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from The Beatles’ song “Let It Be”.

**Chapter 3 – Speaking Words Of Wisdom**

“So now do you want to tell us what is going on?” Regina asked as Henry got back into the car after escorting Belle to her front door. He was silent, snapping his seat belt back into place then flopping back in his seat as Regina pulled away from the curb. He rested his elbow on the car door, propping his head up with his hand.

After receiving Belle’s text, Emma had immediately contacted Regina, since Henry was supposed to be staying the night with her anyway. Regina had no clue what was going on or why Henry would have been at the library to begin with. Most of them had been giving Belle a wide berth for most of the last week for obvious reasons, and Belle had been holding herself aloof from them for those same reasons.

Hating a mystery, especially one involving their son, Regina had immediately insisted on picking Emma up and the two of them going to get Henry up together, but answers had not been immediately forthcoming. Henry had left the library holding onto Belle – Regina thought Belle might have been leaning a bit on Henry, a feeling seemingly confirmed when Henry said that she was ill and needed a ride home.

“This was obviously about more than Belle needing a ride home because she wasn’t feeling well,” Emma added from her place in the front passenger seat. “She texted _me_ to come pick you up from the library, even though you are spending the night at Regina’s tonight, because _you_ were upset about something, then the two of you barely say two words on the way to Belle’s house. She looked a little more than just sick there, Henry. So what is going on really?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Henry muttered not quite under his breath. Out of the corner of her eye, Regina caught Emma rolling her eyes and sighed. Their son was turning into quite the teenager. She wondered if that was something that had started happening during the year that they had been separated or if she had been so caught up in the drama with Robin that she had not noticed hints of this new attitude since they had all returned to Storybrooke.

He was right about one thing. There was only one thing that would be so obviously upsetting to both Belle and Henry, one common thread that tied them together. “This is about Rumple,” she said.

Emma started, whipping around in her seat to look at their son. “Is that true?” she demanded. “Did Gold contact you, make any threats…”

“He’s my _grandfather_ ,” Henry reminded her angrily. “He would not do anything to hurt either me or Grandma.”

“Henry,” Emma said, holding her hands up, trying to adopt a more conciliatory tone, “there is a reason why he was banished from Storybrooke. The town is safer with him no longer in it.”

“I know why he was banished,” he said in a sulky tone. “I know about the Sorcerer’s Hat, what he almost did to you and Hook, what happened to the fairies.   I’m good at finding out things.”

Regina merely shrugged at the surprised look Emma threw her. Their son knowing things that he had not been told probably should not be a surprise. He was pretty good at finding things out that he was not supposed to know. He could be pretty sneaky when he wanted to be. Under other circumstances, she might have laughed. Rumple probably would have gotten a chuckle out of it, too. It was obvious what side of the family he had gotten that trait from.

“So then you know why he had to leave,” Emma said.

“Not really,” he countered. “I know what he did, but I also know what he’s been going through the last couple of months since Dad died. After talking with Grandma tonight, I think that maybe I understand that maybe more than she does because…” His voice trailed off.

Regina glanced in the rearview mirror, her heart aching as she watched him struggle to hold back tears. Remembering the conversation she’d had with Rumple as she had watched Robin leave town, she wondered if Henry had enjoyed spending time with Rumple as much as Rumple had seemed to enjoy spending time with him. With everything that had happened since Rumple had dropped that little bombshell of his relationship to Henry in her lap, she had not often had time to stop and think about it and what it meant. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Rumple was anything but her former mentor, sometime enemy, not-quite friend who had been somewhat fond of Henry under the original curse.

 _The last couple of months since Dad died_. Henry’s words hit her and her eyes widened. Was that what this was about? Henry had known his father for so short a time and now he was gone forever. Had he been hoping to develop a closer relationship with his grandfather, the only blood tie he had to his dead father? Was he upset because that opportunity now seemed lost to him, too?

“You mean because of Neal,” Regina said quietly as she stopped the car at a light. Emma looked startled at that, and Regina had to resist the urge to knock some sense into her with a blast of magic. Had she gotten so tied up with her pirate that she had already forgotten their son’s father?

Not that she was much better, she had to admit reluctantly. First, she had been so angry at the world, and Emma in particular, over Marian’s “miraculous” resurrection that she had withdrawn from everything and everyone, including Henry. Then she had gotten so tied up at the thought that she might be able to find a way to finally have her happy ending that it had never occurred to her that it was not just her happiness that Henry had been looking for when he had first suggested “Operation Mongoose”. Maybe he had been looking for some happiness of his own.

“Kind of,” he replied quietly. “You know Grandpa. He doesn’t usually come straight out and say things, but he said some things to me once that makes me think he was really hurting over Dad’s death, more than anyone knew, maybe even Grandma. When you add on top of that what he must have gone through being locked in a cage while he was Zelena’s captive, being forced to do things he probably wouldn’t have done otherwise…why didn’t anyone ask him why he did those things before just throwing him over the town line?”

“Is that what you and Belle were talking about tonight?” Regina asked. Wanting to devote her full attention to the conversation and not wanting to wait until they got home, after the light turned green, she drove forward about half a block then pulled over to the curb, parking the car and cutting off the engine. She turned in her seat so she could face him. “Is that what the two of you are so upset about?”

“Yes, we talked about it,” he replied, turning to look out the window, “but that’s not…Mom, he’s in the hospital. Grandpa may be dying.”

“What?” Regina murmured in shock, pulling back slightly. She was not sure that she had heard him correctly. He might has well have said that the sun was going to stop shining tomorrow. That was just as likely an occurrence as Rumple dying due to anything other than being stabbed with his dagger, which she assumed Belle had hidden somewhere after banishing him.

His voice shaking, he explained, “I stopped at the library tonight because I wanted to ask Grandma something and Robin called while I was there. Grandpa showed up in New York, at Dad’s old apartment, but he collapsed. The doctor told Robin that he had a heart attack, and that they needed his family to be contacted, so Robin called Grandma.”

“Can that happen?” Emma asked in a confused tone. “I thought that the only thing that could kill Rumplestiltskin was that dagger of his and Belle still has that.”

“I don’t know, Miss Swan,” Regina said harshly, still struggling to wrap her mind around the idea of Rumple dying. “Supposedly, yes, he can only be killed by the dagger, but he is truly in a Land Without Magic now and without his curse. Who knows what could happen to him out there? Here in Storybrooke or in the Enchanted Forest, it is his curse that has kept him alive for over 300 years. He could walk out in the middle of Main Street here, get hit by a car and be fine within a day or two, but his curse can’t protect him beyond the town line. Just like it couldn’t when your current lover stabbed and poisoned him. I’m sure you remember _that_ , Miss Swan.”

“Robin was definitely at a hospital when we talked to him,” Henry said before Emma could respond to Regina’s barb. “I could hear stuff in the background like doctors being paged. He said that Grandpa was still unconscious and that the doctor said a family member needed to be notified in case ‘decisions had to be made’. What does that mean, Mom?” He turned away from the window to look at Emma.

A moment passed before Emma could bring herself to respond. “I don’t know how things were here at the hospital under the curse,” she said, “but normally, if a patient is too sick or injured to make medical decisions for themselves, the hospital would look to the patient’s next of kin to make those decisions. In this case, that would be Belle since she’s his wife. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is going to die or is dying right now, but if he’s unconscious like Robin said, then Gold can’t make any decisions for himself right now. For example, if the doctor thought they needed to operate, they would have to get Belle’s permission first as long as it is not an immediate life-threatening emergency.”

“Honey,” Regina said, reaching towards him to pat his knee, “from what Emma is saying, it sounds like the hospital is just being cautious. I’ve known your grandfather most of my life and while I may not know what has happened in the few days since he left Storybrooke to make him collapse with what the hospital thinks is a heart attack, I know not to count Rumple out. He’ll probably be up and terrorizing everyone at the hospital before you know it and terrorizing Robin as well for worrying you and Belle over it.”

“I wish,” he said, forcing a weak smile. “I just…Dad just died, Mom. I’m worried.”

Instead of the surly teenager he had sounded like just a few minutes earlier, now he looked to Regina like a scared little boy. Unfastening her seat belt, she opened her car door. “Come on,” she said, taking a deep breath as she got out of the car. “We’re just a couple of blocks from David and Mary Margaret’s. I think we all could use some hot cocoa, and we can sit down and talk about what happened.” She opened Henry’s car door and motioned for him to get out as well.

As soon as he was out of the car, the door closed behind him, she wrapped her arms around him. “It’ll be okay, Henry,” she said, trying to sound encouraging while at the same time reassuring herself. Her son was upset, obviously had been for a while, and they needed to do something to help him, even if some people would prefer to avoid certain topics. It was obvious that approach was not going to help Henry.

She took a step back so she could look him in the eye. “Maybe there are some things we should have been talking to you about,” she admitted. She looked over at Emma, who had gotten out of the car and was watching them from the sidewalk. “We’ll start tonight. You can tell us anything, Henry, and we’ll listen, all of us. I promise.”

“I want to go to New York,” he blurted out. “I was trying to talk Grandma into going, too, after Robin called.”

“Not happening,” Emma said sharply.

Regina blew out a sharp breath. So she got to play the good cop this time. It wasn’t a role she was accustomed to, but she could do this for him. She owed it to him and maybe, just a little, she owed it to Rumple as well. “Miss Swan,” she retorted, resisting the urge to just throw a fireball at her and be done with it, “did you not hear me just tell Henry that he could tell us _anything_ and that we would _listen_ to him? That is _not_ what I meant.”

“He did tell us, Regina,” Emma countered, crossing her arms over her chest. “I listened and I said ‘no’.”

“Oh, so now you’re the sole decision maker where our son is concerned,” Regina said sarcastically, throwing her hands up in the air. “Why don’t we listen to Henry tell us why this is so important to him before making any rash decisions? Although if you hadn’t already forgotten about his father to take up with Captain Guyliner, you would probably already know why this is important to him.”

“I have not forgotten about Neal,” Emma protested angrily. “I just don’t get why you are apparently so willing to entertain the idea of our son traipsing off the New York to see a grandfather he barely knows who has hurt a lot of people and nearly killed Killian.”

“Stop it, both of you,” Henry shouted, bringing them both up short. He turned to look at Emma, his eyes flashing with anger. There was an expression that reminded Regina a little too much of her former mentor, making her recognize the need to tread carefully.  “Maybe Mom understands because she knows that she could very easily be where Grandpa is now, except that because of me, all of you decided to try to show her compassion and forgive her. I don’t remember anyone ever considering banishing her from Storybrooke in spite of everything she’s done. Yet none of you could even be bothered trying to understand when it came to Grandpa, even though he previously _died_ to save all of us from Pan. That and Dad dying didn’t even get him enough good will to let people be willing to even listen to him before tossing him aside. I’m surprised some people weren’t ready to throw a party at Granny’s this time when the news got around that he was gone.”

“You heard me talking to Belle in the library the other day,” Regina said quietly, realization dawning. She recognized some of what Henry was saying from things that she had thrown in Belle’s face just a few days earlier when confronting her about Rumple’s banishment.

Henry turned to her. “Yeah,” he admitted just as quietly, “but I’m glad I heard. It was nice to know that there is someone else who isn’t happy about Grandpa being gone.” He looked down at the ground, scuffing the asphalt with his sneaker. “I’ve been going out to the town line every day. I figured that Grandpa would be trying to find a way to come home and that maybe I’d someday see him there. I thought if anyone could figure out how to get back across, it would be him. I would even talk to him sometimes.”

“Henry,” Emma said uncertainly, her voice softer. She walked over to them and put her hand on his shoulder.   “I’m sorry. I wish you would have talked to me, told me what you’re feeling.”

“You’ve been so busy with Hook,” he pointed out. “Mom’s been upset over Robin, Gram and Gramps are busy with the baby and Grandma…well, a part of me is angry enough that I’m not sure I’d want to talk to her while another part knows she is upset about what happened, too.”

Regina exchanged a look with Emma over his head, nearly identical looks of regret in their eyes. They knew he was right. They had gotten so caught up in their own lives, their own personal issues that they had nearly forgotten to consider the person who should always have first place in both their lives. He should not have had to tell them how much he was hurting. As his mothers, they should have known, or at least had a clue. He was a boy who had just lost his father and now his grandfather. It should have been so obvious, if only they had been paying more attention.

Regina took his hand and tugged on it, leading him towards the sidewalk. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go over to your grandparents’, have that hot cocoa and we’ll talk about this.” She shot another look at Emma. “Right, Miss Swan?”

Emma fell into step beside them, taking Henry’s other hand. “We’ll talk,” she promised, “and we’ll listen.”

“I still want to go to New York,” he said as they started down the block. He gave them a half-smile that reminded Regina a lot of his grandfather.  She had never really thought about how much of his personality and mannerisms he might have gotten from his paternal genes. “I told Grandma that I had run away from Storybrooke before, to find Mom, and that I didn’t really want to do that this time.”

Regina chuckled, squeezing his hand. “I guess our boy is growing up,” she said in a joking manner. “He’s telling us before he takes off. That’s better than stealing your grandmother’s credit card and buying a bus ticket.”

Henry managed a weak laugh. “With Grandma Belle’s credit card,” he said, “I’m sure I could easily buy a first class plane ticket. The bus ticket would be just to get to the airport.”

They all managed a laugh at that. “Practically speaking,” Regina said thoughtfully after the laughter died away, “I’m not sure it is possible. You could leave Storybrooke and get to New York, obviously, but how would you get back past the curse on the town line?”

“I’m sure Grandpa was probably thinking about how to do that,” Henry said. “He left a tie tied to a tree branch just beyond the town line so he could find it when he comes back. It’s only been a few days though and now that he’s in the hospital, I don’t know…”

“I have been thinking about how to get past the latest curse,” Emma said. Regina and Henry both turned to look at her in surprise. “Under the original curse, the Snow Queen used a scroll to get through the curse boundary and into town, right? What if we could use the scroll in the same way? She had wanted me, her and Elsa isolated in Storybrooke, nobody else coming in or out. Since we think that the current problem with the town line is because of something she did with her magic in the wall of ice around town, maybe using her scroll will allow us to bypass the current curse.”

Regina thought about it for a long moment, then nodded. “It’s possible,” she said. “If the boundary curse is due to her magic, then using her magic via the scroll should allow us to get around that.”

Henry offered them a smile, a genuine smile. “See?” he said. “I knew we could figure something out and we might need it regardless. I mentioned something to Grandma earlier…what if the only way to save Grandpa’s life is to bring him back to Storybrooke where he can access his magic again and heal himself?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Regina saw Emma open her mouth to speak, but Regina shook her head. Now that they were, more or less, on the same page, the last thing anyone needed was for Emma to jump in and say something without thinking that would just upset Henry again. “It is something that we should consider,” Regina said, choosing her words carefully. “I am concerned that he collapsed within days of leaving town and apparently is in a bad enough condition that he was diagnosed with a heart attack. Whatever is really wrong has to be pretty bad to affect him that quickly.”

“Okay,” Emma said, although the hesitancy in her tone was obvious, “I can see your point there. If it really isn’t a heart attack, and it isn’t something the doctors out there can fix, then we can’t just leave Gold out there to die. He still is Henry’s grandfather, no matter what he’s done.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Henry said, looking from one to the other. “I know you may not understand why this is important to me, but I have to be with Grandpa right now. I wasn’t able to be there when Dad…I didn’t even remember. Dad died thinking that I didn’t know who he was, that I didn’t know how much he loved me. I need to be there with Grandpa as much for Dad as for me.”

Emma nodded, her eyes shining with tears. “When we were leaving New York after Killian stabbed Gold,” she said, “I said that he is family because he is your grandfather. That hasn’t changed just because your dad is gone. I may not like it, but yes, Henry, I do understand. What about Belle? Is she planning to go to New York?”

“Well, she says she’s not sure,” Henry admitted, “but I think she does want to. She said she was going to call later after I had talked to you guys. I think…”

He was interrupted by Emma’s phone ringing. She fished it out of her jacket pocket and glanced at the screen. “Well, this may be your answer, kiddo,” she said, holding the phone out to him. “It’s Belle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More A/N: I have to say, I really loved writing Regina in this chapter. It’s quite unusual for her to be the voice of reason, but I think it works in this context because she could very well be where Rumple is at but for the Charmings’ compassion and their forgiving nature. One of the things that has bothered me on the show is that Regina has barely gotten a slap on the wrist for doing worse things than Rumple did (at least in Storybrooke), yet he gets kicked out of town and is this unforgiveable monster as far as everyone is concerned. So if I can get some of the characters to recognize their hypocrisy during the course of the story, maybe they’ll learn something (and it looks like Emma is heading that way after this chapter). I also love Regina’s snark and I enjoyed letting her toss a few zingers in Emma’s direction. This is my first time writing Regina – I just may have to come up with a few story ideas featuring her so I can write more of her (although fear not, Regina will continue to pop in and out of this story, along with the rest of the Storybrookers).
> 
> Next up - Back in Chapter 2, Henry gave Belle a lot of food for thought. In Chapter 4, “It’s All Coming Back To Me”, after Belle is dropped off at home, she does a lot of thinking about her relationship with Rumple and what misconceptions she might have about everything that has happened. Her soul searching leads her to make a decision about Henry’s suggested trip to New York.


	4. It's All Coming Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about what Henry said in the library, Belle reconsiders the conclusions that she had drawn concerning Rumple's actions and makes a decision about accompanying Henry to New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s notes – Sorry that it’s been a while since I updated. There’s been a lot going on here and I’m in the middle of packing up to move from Texas to Pennsylvania in the next two weeks. I’m going to try to post Chapter 5 before then, but can make no promises. Once I am safely in Erie, I’m going to be able to devote more time to writing and will try to adhere to a regular update schedule.
> 
> The title for this chapter is from the song of the same name, written by Jim Steinman (he’s most familiar as the person who wrote the Bat Out Of Hell and Bat Out Of Hell II albums for Meat Loaf) and performed by Celine Dion in the most familiar version (there is also a duet version of the song on Meat Loaf’s Bat Out Of Hell III album). I love this song and it just fits so well with the Rumbelle of season 4B/5A.

**Chapter 4 – It’s All Coming Back To Me**

Belle stumbled into the house with a murmured goodbye to Henry and a nebulous promise to call later, falling back against the door to push it closed, letting her purse slip from numb fingers to the floor. She idly rubbed the left side of her chest, holding onto the pain as a touchstone. Judging from when she first started feeling the dull ache in her heart, if her theory was true, as long as the pain was there…

How ironic. For nearly a week, she had tried to push away the pain she was feeling, had tried to wrap her heart in ice. Pretending it was not there was the only way she could function, the only way she could show the world that she was surviving, that she could go on without her True Love. Now she needed to embrace the pain, to wrap it around herself like a warm blanket. As long as the pain in her heart was there, she knew that Rumple was still holding on to life.

She kicked off her shoes, stumbling against the staircase, grabbing onto one of the spindles of the banister as she did so. Memories flooded her mind of a day not even two weeks past, a night shrouded in desperation and regret, the day she had used the dagger to force Rumple to take her to the Snow Queen’s lair, a day she now knew had been wrapped up in lies and deceit.

As she slid to her knees on the cool hardwood, she saw that day through new eyes, from a new perspective. Even as his magic had enveloped them, carrying them from the floor of the pawn shop to the foyer of their home – she had not wondered until later why his magic had not taken them straight to their bedroom – their hands had already been busy, pushing away restrictive clothing, lips moving newly exposed skin.

She had been lost in a world of frantic need, barely aware of anything except the desperation of their lovemaking, the harsh moans torn from their throats as they came together, the loud, echoing sound of their ragged breathing as they clung together on the hard floor as they came down off their high. She might have fallen asleep there still wrapped tightly in his arms – she was not entirely sure. She only knew that she later woke up entwined with him in their bed.

She had slept restlessly that night, unable to shake the sick feeling in her stomach after ordering him around with the dagger, unable to dispel the horror at the blood trickling from the cut that marred his skin after she lashed out at him, slashing him with the dagger. Her disquiet had kept Rumple awake as well, causing him to shift beside her every time she moved. More than once during the night, his arms had tightened around her, normally a calming gesture meant to banish away the restlessness and nightmares she had fought on and off since the asylum.

Every time she had felt him pull her closer, she had murmured a quiet apology for disturbing his rest, only to be answered with a brush of his fingers against her skin and an equally quiet ‘You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart.’ At the time, she had not understood how she had deserved for him to be so understanding after the way she had hurt him, after she had forced him to her will the same way Zelena had, after she had drawn blood, his life force staining the sharp edge of the dagger.

After a few hours, she had been unable to take anymore his apparent understanding and forgiveness, and had withdrawn from his arms, had started to slide out from beneath the cool sheets. She had not even had a clear plan in mind other than she had needed to get away from him. He had grabbed her hand, yanking her back until her body was flush against his, his hands beginning to stroke and pluck at her in all the right places. Without even thinking about it, she surrendered herself to him, forcing everything from her mind but for the ecstasy she always found with him.

Instead of the frenzy that had been their earlier lovemaking, Rumple had taken his time with her, pushing her up and over again and again, wringing nearly every emotion she’d ever felt for him out of her until he finally allowed them both to find satisfaction in a warm, drowsy haze. Sprawled across his chest afterwards, his heart beating reassuringly beneath her ear, his fingers gently stroking her back, she had finally slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning had come all too soon, despite the few hours of uninterrupted sleep she had finally managed. Still half asleep, she had left breakfast to him, satisfied to lean against his side in front of the stove, playing with the wedding ring on his hand draped over her shoulder while he had flipped pancakes and pressed the occasional kiss to her face or hair.

Eventually, he had startled her out of her lethargic state with an apology. Assuming that he had been referring to depriving her of several hours of sleep in an attempt to pull her mind away from the events of the previous day, she had brushed off his regret, assuring him that she could hardly object to his attempts at comfort after what she’d done to him. ‘You only did what you thought you had to,’ he had quietly assured her before leading her towards the table, the plate of pancakes balanced in his free hand.

Now, collapsed in a boneless heap leaning against the staircase in the foyer of the home they had shared for so brief a time, she tried examining that night through newly knowledgeable eyes, pushing aside the bliss he had made her feel and trying to focus an analytical eye on his words and actions.

Why had she not seen it that night? It seemed so obvious now that he had been nearly as driven, nearly as haunted that night as she had been. She might have assumed that it was because of how she had made him feel, how he had suffered under the thrall of the dagger once again – but why would he have apologized to her for what she had done?

She realized now that his apology had been for _what he had done_ , for the way he had deceived her, for how he had shattered her trust without her knowledge. After she had used the gauntlet to lead her to the dagger, she had assumed that the regrets that he had expressed at the town line had been not for his actions, but for the fact that he had gotten caught in his deceit, coldly prepared to crush someone’s heart, the mother and grandmother of his beloved Baelfire’s son frozen nearby in horror.

Henry’s determined insistence in being there for his grandfather, in looking past what he had done, now had her questioning everything that she had thought since she had discovered his treachery. She could now bring to mind a man haunted, trying desperately to hold onto something, anything to banish the horror he had lived through for the past year. She now knew that even before she had stumbled onto the truth, he had already offered multiple apologies for what she had not known he had been doing.

She knew he had been hurting. She had been there when he had emerged from the Vault of the Dark One, seen the desperation in his eyes as he realized the price that had been paid for his renewed life. She had seen him locked in a cage like a dog, both in the Enchanted Forest and in Storybrooke, tormented by the voices in his head and the witch forcing him to her will.

After Zelena had been defeated, everything had returned to normal – or had it? When she had entered the pawn shop to find him standing there for the first time in a year, seemingly whole and healthy and asking her to marry him, she had thought they could put everything behind them and their lives could return to the way they were before everything.

Had she been deluding herself, as desperate as he for some normalcy that she had blithely ignored any signs that did not fit the narrative of the happy life she thought they were building together? How could she really have expected everything to be fine when he had lost the person who had been the center of his existence for over 300 years, when he had been tortured and abused in ways that she had not dared contemplate? How could she have not seen?

Drawing in a shaky breath, she blinked back tears, Henry’s earlier question echoing in her mind. _Did you ask him why_? She had tried not to think about it, attempted to continue believing that it was all Rumple’s fault, but deep down she knew the sickening truth. There had to have been a reason for everything that had happened, every action that he had taken. Gods, she had known him long enough to know that he never did anything without cause, without carefully counting out the cost beforehand.

She choked back a sob as the truth crashed down over her. She had not wanted to know. It was easier to pretend that there was nothing that could possibly justify or even simply explain why he had fallen so far. It was the only way that she could live with what she had done, could reconcile in her mind her rashness in throwing him away like garbage.

Clasping her hands to her mouth, her body shook as she realized that she was no better than Milah, who had thrown over a sweet and caring man for her own selfish reasons; no better than Cora, who had valued power over all else; no better than Zelena, who had done things that Belle still tried desperately not to think about. She suspected there was more – a whole lot more – to what she had done beyond demeaning Rumple and treating him like an animal, but she admitted now that she had not wanted to contemplate that.

If she stopped to think about what else Zelena had likely done to Rumplestiltskin, then she would have to stop and think about how completely inadequate she had been as a wife that she had not seen, had blindly disregarded all the signs. She had told him at the town line that she had tried to be everything, had lost herself for him, but she had not really tried to be everything, or she would have seen the truth much sooner.

If she thought about every atrocity that Zelena had committed against him, then she would have to admit that what she had said nearly a week ago at the town line had been as much lies as the ones Rumple had told. She would have had to acknowledge that she had not been the strength he had once proclaimed her to be. She would have had to admit that she had been so wrong about the gauntlet and the dagger and his power. She would have had to own up to the fact that she may have condemned her husband, her True Love, to spend the rest of his life cut off from the family he loved and possibly even sentenced him to death.

Henry’s reminder about the conversation about happy endings the day that Regina had reversed the curse had been like a lightning bolt striking suddenly. Just before he had saved them from his demonic father by sacrificing his own life, he had proclaimed her as his strength. ‘You make me stronger,’he had said in front of everyone. He had been about to die, and he had known it. She knew there was no way he had been lying about that. He had thought it was his deathbed confession.

Which meant there was no way the gauntlet could have ever led to her. A strangled sob escaped her lips from behind her clasped hands as she remembered another conversation – and with it, the truth of what the gauntlet had shown her. The gauntlet led to a person’s greatest weakness, he had told her, which was most often the thing that they loved the most. _Most often…_

Her body trembled as she finally gave free reign to the anguished tears that she had been trying to hold back. The gauntlet had not led to her because she was not his weakness. She was his strength. If a person’s weakness was most often – not but always – the thing they loved most, then it did not follow that he loved his power more than her just because the gauntlet had led her to the real dagger.

She had not asked him why, even when she could have forced the truth out of him with the dagger. She had refused to listen to his explanations, his fears, his pleas. In a blind rage, she had lashed out and condemned him. She was not his strength, not any longer. She had broken him, shattered him in ways that Milah and Cora and Zelena had never been able to. She had acted as judge, jury and executioner without a thought to the cost not only to Rumple, but to her own soul.

“Please,” she cried out, her body slumping against the side of the staircase as if she were a puppet whose strings had been cut. She let herself slide to the floor, curling in on herself as she lay there, weeping bitter tears. “Oh, please, Rumple…please forgive me…”

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, she found she had no more tears left to shed. Her head pounding, she managed to push herself back into a sitting position, reaching over to pull her discarded purse to her. Pulling her phone out, she was shocked to discover that not even half an hour had passed since Henry had walked her to her door. Time had seemingly frozen in her despair.

With a heavy sigh, she scrolled through the contact list on her phone. It might not be possible anymore, but she had to try to find a way to fix this. If that meant facing her husband again and bringing him back to Storybrooke, she had to do it. She would even force herself to accept it if he wanted nothing to do with her if it meant that she had ensured his life and safety from whatever had caused his apparent heart attack.

Her hands shaking, she found the contact she needed and selected it, raising the phone to her ear. After four rings, a familiar voice full of hope answered, “Grandma?”

Closing her eyes, she slowly exhaled, steeling herself. Even if Rumple would never forgive her, she owed it to him to help bring him back together with the grandson she had so cruelly torn him from. “Henry, I will go to New York with you,” she said without preamble.

“I’m glad,” Henry replied quietly, his tone reserved. She did not think that she could have taken his enthusiasm if he had chosen to express it.

“We’ll do what we can to help your grandfather,” she promised. “Even if we have to bring him back to Storybrooke. He never…” She stopped herself, unable to admit what Henry already knew, that Rumple should never have been forced to leave in the first place. “Whatever it takes, Henry, we’ll make sure he’s okay.”

“Thank you, Grandma,” he said. “My moms and I are almost to my grandparents’. Both of them have agreed to the trip and Mom…Emma…thinks she knows how to get past the current boundary curse so we can bring Grandpa home. All we need is to make travel arrangements. Emma will know what we need to do. We’ll call you back later once we have a plan.”

“Okay, Henry,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.” Knowing there was nothing else to say at the moment, she disconnected the call, letting the phone fall from her fingers to land with a quiet thump on the floor beside her. It would hurt more than she could contemplate to face Rumple again, but she would force that from her mind from now, would think about it later. She had a trip to pack for and had to make sure that she had the basic necessities for Rumple that she had denied him six days earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now poor Belle has gone from one extreme – cutting off all her emotions so that she does not have to deal with the consequences of what she did – to the other – blaming herself for everything. It’s going to be a while before she is in a place where she can balance her own culpability with Rumple’s and accept the truth that lies in between, but she’s going to have to see Rumple first before she can get to that middle ground. Speaking of Rumple…
> 
> Finally, in Chapter 5 – Un-break My Heart, our third main character makes his first appearance as the story moves to New York and Rumple regains consciousness in the hospital, asking Robin to go after the Elixir of the Wounded Heart at the Wizard of Oak. If this sounds familiar, yeah, it should. This will be one of four chapters which will draw heavily from the episode “Heart of Gold”.


	5. Un-Break My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumplestiltskin regains consciousness in the hospital and asks Robin to retrieve the Elixir of the Wounded Heart for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay between parts. For several years, I’ve struggled with a myriad of health issues and the last month has been worse than usual (too much activity at Christmas I’m pretty sure is the root cause - one of the hazards of being in PA now where all my family is). I’m back now and if all goes well, I will be posting at least once a week, maybe twice if I can get far enough ahead in writing that I can post without further interruption (the words are flowing from my fingers right now!). More in a few days!

**Chapter 5 – Un-Break My Heart**

_Hands._

_He always felt the hands first as he moved towards awareness. Hands moving over him. Hands touching him._

_For fourteen years, it had been Baelfire's hand, small and trusting in his – trusting him to sooth his hurts, to banish his nightmares. It had been the touch of a little boy who had absolute love and faith in his Papa._

_For more than 300 years after that, it was still Baelfire's hand, cold and clammy, struggling to hold onto his as the portal pulled at him, pulled Bae away from him. Most of the time, especially in the days and years before he had found his son again, he was certain that the fault was his, that he had not held on tight enough. If only he had not been such a coward, or less in thrall to the voices inside his head, he and Bae would still have been together. He could have held on tighter._

_Later, after they had been able to reach a rapprochement, Bae had suggested that maybe it had not really been anyone's fault, that the magic of the portal was just too powerful to allow them to hold on to each other, regardless of what both of them had truly wanted. He had considered that, but had quickly dismissed the thought. It had been his responsibility as a father, as Bae's father, to hold on. He had owed that to his son, to the little boy he had given life to, whose life he had a responsibility to protect._

_Even later, he had felt Cora's hands, moving over him, drawing forth responses that he had never felt in his life. Only later would he realize how cold, how mechanical her touch had been. It had been as if she had been following a script, doing exactly what she was supposed to do to draw the appropriate responses from him to get what she wanted. That understanding only came years later, however, after betrayal had taught him a cruel lesson._

_After Cora, it had been a long time before anyone had willingly touched him. It had been a long time before he willingly accepted another's touch._

_He had not understood what was happening at first. How could anyone have wanted to touch him, especially an innocent young princess who had never known in her life any but the softest and most loving of caresses? At first it was very casual, the brush of fingers when she would hand him his chipped cup, her hand touching his shoulder when she would lean over him at the spinning wheel, trying to draw his attention away from the hypnotic rotation of the wheel._

_He had never figured out when it had become more deliberate. When she had wrapped her arms around him after he had spared the thief's life? When her arm had stayed draped over his shoulder just a moment longer than necessary the day she had fallen from the ladder? He had only figured out later that he began to yearn for her soft touches as much as he did for the tingle of magic in his veins as he called it to his command._

_Then after Regina told him that she had died, he had yet another's touch that he would never feel again to haunt his dreams, and once again, it had been years before he welcomed anyone's touch._

_Within a few short months, he had everything he could have ever wanted. He could feel Belle's touch again, and then Bae's, even if the latter was more reluctant than the former had originally been (before her memory loss) to show the affection he suddenly craved again. He even had a grandson! – a child he'd ironically known his entire life whose innocent touches and bright smile had managed to remind him after his memories of his son had returned just a little of Bae – who had tried hesitantly to reach out in his own winsome way, not quite sure how to bridge the gap with the man he'd always known but who had always been so closed off._

_Then *_ _**she*** _ _had come and it had all gone wrong._

_Zelena. The woman whose hands still haunted him. The witch who had brought darkness and queasiness and tremors he could barely control to his dreams and even to his waking moments. He had tried to push it all away, had tried to drown in Belle's embrace, had attempted to let himself bask in the warmth of his grandson's company, even as he'd fought to ensure that he was never controlled like that ever again._

_It had all been for naught. Belle had sent him away, pushed him over the town line to face his dreams and terrors without even the meager buffer that her presence – and Henry's – had provided against the dark memories._

_It was no less than he deserved, he knew. It would have happened eventually. If it hadn't been the dagger, it would have been something else. There would have been no way to avoid it. He was the Dark One. He would have destroyed everything in the end. He had done it with Bae as a child. He had done it with Belle the day of their disastrous first kiss. He had even done it with Henry when he had first learned of their relationship in Manhattan. They might have come back at first, but it couldn't last. It was inevitable._

Hands moved over him again, fingers pressing firmly against his left wrist. He tried to pull away, to curl back into himself, but his limbs felt wooden, heavy. He opened his mouth to protest, but could force little more than a moan past his dry lips.

"Shh," a feminine voice said as the fingers released his wrist, placing his limp hand back at his side. "Everything is okay. My name is Miriam. Do you know where you are?"

He started to shake his head, but stopped as a sharp pain exploded at the back of his head. He groaned again, screwing his eyelids tighter shut against the agony that wouldn't fade. He tried to force the pain back, tried to clear his mind enough to think, but it was challenging. He didn't have magic to help him.

Eventually, he managed to dredge up centuries-old memories of ignoring the pain in his ankle to the forefront, trying to slow his breathing so he could force the pain back, but it wasn't nearly as easy as simply exerting his will. Every breath burned, his chest heavy, a great weight crushing down on him.

Finally, he managed enough to reach out with his other senses. The smell of something bitter and antiseptic assaulted his nose and memories he hadn't thought of in years assaulted his mind, false recollections given him by Regina to explain his limp under the curse. "A hospital?" he managed to whisper, his voice coming out as little more than a hoarse croak.

"Yes," the voice confirmed, fingers cool over his skin as they fiddled with something – IV tubing, he concluded after a moment's thought – taped to his arm. He managed to move his arm away from the touch, his body gradually growing more willing to respond to his commands. He forced his eyes open, blinking several times until a round face surrounded by curly gray hair swam into focus. His gaze moved over the room, taking everything in, as his tongue darted out to moisten his dry lips.

He took note of a monitor attached to several brightly colored wires snaking out from under the hospital gown he wore that he could feel stuck to several places on and around his chest. More memories assaulted him of the sensation of his heart being squeezed, him struggling to maintain his balance on his cheap replacement cane, the floor rising up too rapidly to meet him as his body gave in to the pain.

"My heart," he croaked, his hand coming to his chest, rubbing idly over the rough fabric beneath his fingertips. It was catching up with him now. It had to be now that he was outside Storybrooke, cut off from the magic that he'd been using to stave off the increasing darkness enveloping him. He had known it would happen – the only question had been how long it would take. He knew he'd been racing against the clock and now he knew that he was losing.

"The doctor will be here in a few minutes," the nurse said, her eyes remaining on him as she tapped at the keyboard of a laptop on a rolling cart. "He'll explain everything."

He glanced away while she continued punching at keys on the computer, his mind racing. There was nothing the doctor could tell him that he did not already know. Any explanations the people here could give him would mean nothing. He had felt it coming for a while, knew that the darkness had been blackening his heart ever since…He closed his eyes for a brief moment, pushing the sudden image of red hair and crazed blue eyes from his mind.

He had been fighting this battle for over three hundred years, had even gained a bit of an upper hand after Neverland, when for the first time since he had plunged the dagger into Zoso's chest he had actually felt the darkness lift just a bit, had felt it give way just a little under the love he let fill his heart without reservation for the first time since he'd held an infant Bae in his arms.

But it was only a couple of days before it had all gone to hell – or he had – when he had plunged his dagger into Pan's back. He'd then been ripped suddenly back and found himself in a position he'd managed to avoid for his entire time as the Dark One. * **She'd** * had the dagger. * **She'd** * used it on him, forced him to do things…he closed his eyes, unable to control the shiver which coursed through him.

It had only been after he'd been freed, when he'd thought that he'd regained some balance in his life, that he'd realized the full cost of being controlled. He'd turned his entire focus to fighting the encroaching darkness. He'd clung to his wife, burying himself in her arms, and blithely ignored his grandson's spying solely in the name of spending time with him while he'd dosed himself with potions and researched obscure spells that might buy him time until…until something.

Then it had all fallen apart through his own folly and he no longer possessed the tools he'd utilized for the last few weeks. For not the first time in the six days since he'd gone over the town line, he wished that he'd decided to stay closer to Storybrooke. Perhaps he could have gotten in touch with Regina. Despite the fact that she was playing nice with the heroes she was more willing to call family now, he thought that he might have been able to convince her not to leave him to die cut off from the world he knew. Maybe he could have convinced her to contact Belle….

He closed his eyes, blinking back the sudden moisture threatening to fill his eyes. No. She didn't care anymore. She'd made that clear at the town line. _Now I only see the beast_ , she'd told him. His was a life no longer worth saving, not to her.

He shook his head, as if it were that easy to banish his wife from his thoughts. He heard voices on the periphery of his thoughts, realized that the doctor had entered the room, was prattling on about some test results or something. He made what might have sounded like noises of agreement at what might have been appropriate times – he wasn't really paying much attention.

He'd come to New York looking for associates who might be willing to help without worrying about maintaining friendships with the precious heroes. He was pretty sure Ursula was in the city – as a mermaid she'd been able to traverse the realms separate from the curse and he'd been trying to track her down since the original curse had broken, just in case of a rainy day – but he was not yet completely certain where she was. The last time he'd had a positive read on her location had been shortly before he'd come to Manhattan for Bae and he hadn't had time enough in the city yet to see if his old information was still accurate.

Cruella was probably going to be both easier and more difficult to contact. He wasn't quite sure how she had gotten to the Land without Magic, nor did he care at the moment. Given the circles of society that she moved in, she'd been fairly easy to locate – which was how he'd found out she was in this realm to begin with - but he knew that she was currently embroiled in legal difficulties due to some of her husband's business activities. Last he'd heard, her husband was on the verge of arrest. He'd followed the possible legal proceedings with a bit of interest, considering the possibility that he might be able to use the situation to gain a favor from her. Now, while he could call her, he doubted she was in much of a position to drop everything to do his bidding.

"Yes, yes, fine," he said shortly, realizing that the doctor was finally finished delivering a lecture about whatever his small mind thought might cure him. As the doctor left the room, Gold pushed his wedding ring around with his thumb, focusing on the feeling of the band rubbing against his finger as his mind considered and discarded various possibilities.

Suddenly, he was jolted out of his thoughts by something the nurse said and he turned his attention back to her for the first time since he had opened his eyes. "My friend?" he asked, managing to keep the surprise out of his tone until more memories of his collapse came to his mind and he could figure out what she was talking about. Bae's apartment – Robin and family had been there. Why, he wasn't sure. Regina had certainly said nothing to _him_ about inviting her lover to stay in his son's home.

He didn't really know Robin all that well, had only met him a couple of times in the Enchanted Forest before the curse and had only seen him in Storybrooke in passing in the few weeks since his…release. But he knew enough about the man to know that he lived by a code, a code which had led him to ride in the ambulance to the hospital rather than simply calling for paramedics and washing his hands of the situation.

"Yes," he said to the nurse, waving a hand in her direction in dismissal. "I'll see him."

Robin Hood would not mourn if he died, but his honor would not just let him stand by while his life was in danger either, not if he knew there was something that he could do. He could use that to his advantage and he realized that he had the perfect job for the thief, one that would perfectly utilize his skills and get Rumplestiltskin what he needed.

* * *

"So what do the doctors' say?" Robin asked, shifting uneasily from foot to foot as he stood next to Gold's bed. He was obviously in the last place he wanted to be, but was forcing himself to show concern out of politeness and his misplaced sense of honor.

"Only what their small minds can comprehend," Gold said in a dismissive tone, "prattling on about diets, exercise. They tell me it was a heart attack." He wanted this conversation no more than Robin did, but he had a role to play and he excelled at playing whatever role he needed to get what he wanted.

Robin managed what might have passed as a look of concern to someone who didn't know better. "You have other ideas?"

"My problem isn't physical," he began to explain, putting his problem into words for the first time. Robin was hardly the person he wanted to have this discussion with – if things had worked out as he had planned, he wouldn't have had to have this discussion with anyone, even Belle – but he needed to draw Robin in, to make sure the man was fully aware of the stakes. "It's moral. All the dark deeds I've done have taken their toll, poisoned my heart, thickened the blood. Back in Storybrooke, I used magic to protect myself, but out here…"

He trailed off, sighing as Belle's image worked its way to the forefront of his mind. He could almost see her bright blue eyes full of concern, feel her warm fingers playing with his hair in a comforting gesture. He shook his head, forcing himself to banish her image from his thoughts. "I won't last without something," he concluded.

Robin shrugged. "Well, unfortunately for you, Dark One," he said, seeming to struggle with keeping his true feelings out of his tone, "there is no magic in this world."

"True," Gold said, a small smile playing at his lips. "We can't create magic here, but we can use magical items if they were brought from elsewhere." He watched Robin, seeing the interest spark in his eyes. In spite of himself, Robin was being drawn in. "Remember something from our past, the Elixir of the Wounded Heart? Something I asked you to steal?"

Robin nodded, his eyes widening slightly as he recognized what Gold was talking about. Gold continued, "Well, I might know where some of it exists, right here in New York City – and I need you to get it for me."

"And **why** would I help you?" Robin asked in disbelief.

With a surge of strength that shocked Robin, Gold grabbed the front of his shirt, twisting the fabric in his hand as he pulled the younger man towards him. "For the same reason you left the woman you love," he reminded Robin. He ignored the pain that flashed briefly in the other man's eyes. "You left Regina because you're a man with a code, a man of honor."

Something dangerous flashed in his eyes. "And that," he spat out," despite everything, is the reason why you will save me."

He released Robin and leaned back on the bed casually, hiding how much his sudden surge of strength had exhausted him. Sharp brown eyes studied the other man carefully as Robin stepped back. He said nothing, but he didn't need to. Gold could read the resignation in his wary gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Rumple makes his first appearance in the story! It feels like so much has already happened and this is the first peek we’ve seen at what’s been going on in NYC. I love Rumple in this chapter. He’s in a very low place emotionally – lots of woobie!Rumple throughout and hints of his state of mind regarding what Zelena put him through – but even when he’s down, he’s hardly out and we see plenty of Rumple at his cold and calculating best as he’s planning and convincing Robin to “help” him.
> 
> In Chapter 6, “So Let’s All Pull Together,” the rest of the Storybrooke gang is drawn into the drama as Emma and Regina show up at the Charmings and fill them in on what’s happening. They discuss what they should do about Rumplestiltskin, but things are thrown into disarray when Hook shows up and isn’t exactly unhappy at his rival’s dire circumstances.


	6. So Let's All Pull Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina fill the Charmings in on what’s going on with Henry and discuss how to deal with the possibility of Rumple’s return to Storybrooke, but things are thrown into disarray when Hook shows up and isn’t exactly unhappy about what has happened to his rival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to post this yesterday, but was having internet problems last night. Apparently, the winter weather causes more issues with our cable internet than it does with the satellite TV. Fortunately, I had some additional insights which allowed me to flesh out a bit more what Emma is thinking in this part.
> 
> In the future, barring problems outside of my control, Monday will be the regular posting day.

**Chapter 6 – So Let’s All Pull Together**

After Henry’s conversation with Belle, he had gone quiet, lost in his own thoughts as Emma and Regina further discussed the logistics of the trip to New York. As they made their way to the Nolans’ apartment, Emma watched her son out of the corner of her eye, growing increasingly concerned. Now that she knew, it was so obvious. Henry had been quiet and withdrawn on the subject of his grandfather for nearly a week, on the topic of Neal for even longer than that.

Henry had been right. Everyone that he might have depended on to help him through the loss of first his father and now his grandfather had been caught up in their own lives, had been too focused on their own dramas to his detriment. Some of it was understandable – her parents had a new baby, and of course, that would be their primary concern, especially after the trauma surrounding his birth and what were likely lingering feelings of guilt over not having been able to raise her. She could also see why he would have been reluctant to turn to his other grandparents – first, because it might have reopened their own wounds over Neal’s death and second, after Gold’s banishment, because Belle had brought about his grandfather’s sudden disappearance from his life.

There were no such excuses for her and Regina. Henry should have been their first priority, period. Nothing was more important – not her struggles with her magic, not her budding, still tentative relationship with Killian, not Regina’s issues with Robin and Marian. Henry had been struggling with the loss of his dad and had not felt that he could turn to his remaining parents to help him grieve. The loss of the one person who felt Neal’s death as keenly as he did had obviously left him feeling even more alone.

She would have been there for her son if only she had realized. It wasn’t that she had forgotten Neal, as Regina had alleged. He had been her first love who had given her the most precious of gifts – even if she had not been able to recognize it at the time, terrified teenager that she was. He would have always had place in her heart if only because of Henry, but that had not been it. She had still loved him and a lot of the grief she felt was wrapped up in thoughts of what might have been.

A secret part of her that she could barely acknowledge wished that she had accepted Rumplestiltskin’s argument that he _not_ take the memory potion and had let him find a way to save Neal’s life. For a man who had spent 300 years devising a curse to lead him to his son, preventing his son’s death at the hands of the Wicked Witch might have been child’s play. Henry could have still had his father. She wouldn’t have had to face the fact that she had played a part in Neal’s death. Maybe she could have had Neal as well.

She still thought about him constantly. It was impossible not to when she could see him every day in Henry’s shining eyes, in his bright smiles. There had even been times when the sight of _Gold_ had torn at her heart, when she’d had to turn away from his dark gaze before she could be overcome by a new wave of grief.

As she opened the apartment door, she caught Henry’s eye and gave him a weak smile. She still had reservations about the trip to New York – although she could better understand why he felt he needed to go – but she was determined to do everything in her power to help her son. She might have had her issues with the man, but Gold still was Henry’s grandfather, Neal’s father. Remembering the years when she had wanted nothing more than a family to call her own, she couldn’t stop her son from holding on to his.

As they entered the apartment, Emma saw her father sitting on the sofa, stripping off her baby brother what appeared to be a soiled onesie. It was not an uncommon sight – baby Neal had been suffering from a bit of an upset stomach the past few days and had spit up more than one meal on one of his parents or his older sister. Fortunately, a visit to the hospital two days earlier had revealed nothing seriously wrong.

“Hey, Emma,” David said, not looking up as he grabbed a new onesie and struggled to clothe the fussing baby, “is Henry okay? Mary Margaret said you got a text to pick him up…”

As he lifted the now-clothed baby to his shoulder, patting his back, he turned towards the door, his eyes widening in surprise. “Regina, Henry,” he said in a confused tone as he caught sight of his daughter’s companions. “I thought Henry was staying at Regina’s tonight?”

“I’m gonna go upstairs and pack, okay?” Henry said, his expression distant.

Emma squeezed his shoulders, pulling him against her side as she pressed a kiss to his head. “Sure, kiddo,” she said. “Regina and I will fill your grandparents in. There will be hot cocoa waiting for you when you’re done.”

As Henry climbed up to the loft, Emma gestured Regina towards the table while she went behind the kitchen counter and pulled out the cocoa mix and five mugs. She busied herself fixing cocoa for all of them, focused intently on the task. She barely glanced up as Mary Margaret came out of the bathroom, rubbing at a stain on the front of her shirt with a damp towel.

“Emma…” Mary Margaret began, her voice trailing off as she looked up from her shirt and saw Regina seated at the table. She took a seat across from her stepmother, tossing the towel onto the table. She looked from Regina to Emma as David took a seat next to her, her expression worried. “What’s wrong? You said that Belle had texted you that Henry was upset about something?”

“He’s been upset for a while,” Regina said without elaboration, a hint of bitterness in her tone.

Emma sighed as she went around the table, placing mugs of cocoa in front of everyone. “Unfortunately, Regina is correct about that,” she said as she focused on sprinkling cinnamon on top of her drink before she set the container on the table next to the fifth mug for Henry. “But tonight...Henry was at the library with Belle when she got a call from Robin. It was about Gold.”

“I don’t understand,” Mary Margaret said. “Why would Robin be calling about Gold?”

“We don’t have all the details,” Emma explained, poking at the foam on top of her cocoa with a finger, “but Gold is in the hospital in New York City. Apparently, the doctor told Robin that he had a heart attack.”

“That’s hard to imagine,” David said, his expression thoughtful. “I would have thought his curse would protect him, at least from illness.”

“We’re not sure,” Regina replied. “Here in Storybrooke it would, although we wouldn’t think that he’s been outside of town long enough for anything to happen. We do know that he can be injured, even fatally, on the outside. Hook proved that. It’s possible there was something wrong already and he had been protecting himself using magic, but without knowing more, we’re just speculating.”

“So what does this mean?” Mary Margaret asked. “I guess I can understand why Henry would be upset. It’s easy to forget sometimes, but Gold _is_ his grandfather.”

“Henry said something about packing,” David said.

“Why would Henry be packing?” Mary Margaret interjected, shaking her head. After a moment, Emma could see the realization dawn in her mother’s eyes as she put the pieces together. “Are you planning to take him to New York? I don’t understand. Henry and Gold have never seemed…”

Her voice had started rising and David put a hand on her arm, inclining his head towards the loft. Emma followed their gazes, catching sight of Henry sitting on the bed, staring off into space with an open bag next to him. He didn’t appear to be paying attention to the conversation going on below him. She saw him glance down for a moment, then place what appeared to be his book of fairy tales in the bag.

“He’s leaving for New York with Belle in the morning,” Emma explained in a quiet tone. She was tempted to invite herself on the trip. Although Henry was familiar with the city after living there with her for a year, Belle had never been outside Storybrooke, and Emma thought that as upset as they were both likely to be if Gold’s condition was that serious, they might need someone with a more level head along. She just wasn’t sure that her presence would be appreciated, especially if the situation same down to a decision about whether to allow Gold to return. She still had severe reservations about that idea and wasn’t sure she could keep herself from arguing against it, even with her son.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea at first,” she continued, turning her gaze away from Henry and back to the conversation at hand. “Regina made some good points, though, when Henry told us he wanted to go…”

“The day Robin left,” Regina continued, picking up the explanation as Emma’s voice trailed off, “Rumple and I were talking about Henry working at his shop. He actually seemed to enjoy having him there, even though he said he knew Henry was spying for me, looking for information on the author. Tonight, Henry said…” She broke off, glancing briefly up at Henry. “Apparently, there is a lot he has not been telling us – about Neal’s death and how he’s been dealing with it.”

“He didn’t even remember who Neal was when he died,” David remembered. “When he did remember, there was so much still going on with the witch…I guess we just assumed…”

“He almost never talks about his dad,” Mary Margaret added sadly.

“None of us realized,” Regina said, motioning between the four of them with a hint of bitterness creeping back into her tone. “We all got caught up in other things…” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “He told us tonight that he’s been going out to the town line every day since Gold’s been gone, hoping that he’s coming home.”

Emma watched her parents lean back in their chairs, shock on their faces. She knew what they had to be thinking. It was probably the same things that she had thought when she had first heard. Henry almost never talked about his dad or his grandfather. He had been dealing Neal’s death just fine. His grandfather was just another person in his life, but not one he had been particularly close to. They were all stunned to find out just how wrong they all were.

“Gold’s the only link he has to Neal,” Mary Margaret said softly.

Emma nodded. “Now he seems to think that his grandfather might die and he won’t get a chance to say goodbye,” she said, “just like…” She took a calming breath, struggling to hold back tears.

“Just like Neal,” her mother said in a worried tone, reaching out and squeezing her daughter’s hand briefly. “Is it that bad?”

“That’s why Robin called Belle,” Emma continued in a more level tone after a moment to compose herself. “The hospital said they needed family to be contacted to make decisions on treatment. Apparently, Gold is in no condition to do so for himself.”

“I never thought Henry and Gold had gotten that close,” David said, passing the baby off to his wife after she held out her hands in a silent gesture to take him. She lifted the half-asleep baby against her shoulder, rubbing his back in a slow circles Emma thought might have been more about settling her emotions than about comforting her son. She knew her mother’s kind, loving heart was breaking for her devastated grandson, for Belle – whom she had tried to approach at least once since Gold had left, only to be rebuffed - and likely even for Gold.

“None of us realized,” Emma said, “at least, not until tonight. We might never have known, if not for the current situation.”

David shook his head and asked in a worried tone, “But is it really a good idea for Henry to go to New York? What if…?”

“But is it a good idea to stop him from going?” Mary Margaret interrupted. “If he’s that upset over Neal’s death and Gold’s banishment, would he resent us for not letting him be there, especially if the worst happens? As we said a minute ago, Henry never got the chance to say goodbye to his father. Can we really deny him the possibility of doing so with Gold?”

“I agree,” Regina said in a rare moment of solidarity with her stepdaughter. “Henry needs to do this. Anyway, it was wrong….” She shook her head, pressing her lips together firmly to stop herself what whatever she had been about to say, although Emma had a pretty good idea from their conversation earlier what she was holding back. “I know we do ignore that fact most of the time, but Rumple still is Henry’s grandfather.”

Mary Margaret studied Regina, understanding dawning in her eyes. “You disagree with Gold being thrown out of town,” she stated.

“Henry said something tonight,” Regina explained. “There’s been something going on with Rumple. Looking back, it’s obvious. Something Zelena did to him, Neal’s death, something was going on with him that he never talked about.”

“Who would Gold talk to, except maybe Belle?” David wondered.

“Probably not even her,” Regina pointed out, “considering how quick she was to throw him out without so much as allowing him to explain…recent events. Although he apparently has said enough to worry Henry over his state of mind.”

“Even you got a trial, a chance to speak on your own behalf, back in the Enchanted Forest,” Mary Margaret said, obviously following the direction of Regina’s thoughts. “And here, after the curse broke…I understand where you are coming from being against Gold’s banishment.”

“We could have used the dagger to force him to tell us the truth,” Emma pointed out. “Belle could have ordered him to lock himself up and not escape just as easily as she forced him over the town line.” She waved a hand in frustration and blew out a sharp breath.

“So what happens when Belle and Henry go to New York?” David asked, turning the conversation back to the more immediate issue. “If he can be released from the hospital, would they bring Gold back with them?”

Emma exchanged a long look with Regina before the other woman finally replied, “We don’t know. It’s possible they may have to, if there’s nothing conventional medicine can do. We can’t just leave him out there to die if the magic in Storybrooke can save him.”

“What about the curse on the town line?” Mary Margaret asked. “How would even just Belle and Henry get back into Storybrooke?”

“I think I have an idea about that,” Emma said as Regina nodded. “And if they do bring Gold back…Belle still does have the dagger, as far as we know.”

“Hold on,” Regina interjected, holding up a hand in a ‘stop’ gesture.   “I’m not so sure using the dagger is a good idea, especially if this does go back to something that Zelena did. I probably have a better idea than anyone what that dagger can do to him from things my mother said when she was after the dagger. If it’s as bad as Henry suggests, knowing how much of a monster my sister was, it may be better to use one of those magic-dampening cuffs that Pan created. Those did come back with the second curse, as I recall.”

“Well, we have some time to consider our course of action,” Emma conceded. “It’s not like they’ll be bringing him back to town tomorrow. Even if he is released from the hospital, it may not be a good idea for him to travel for some time.”

David nodded. “We have time,” he agreed. “We can get together and discuss it with some of the others – Archie, Granny, the dwarves. I wish Blue were here. There would probably be something she could do…” He stopped as they all turned at the sound of a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Emma said with a sigh, instinctively knowing who was probably on the other side. She’d had plans for the evening that she’d had to cancel once she’d gotten Belle’s text. Given the history, she knew that she really didn’t want to deal with this now, but she apparently didn’t have a choice.

She got up and opened the door, silently waving Killian into the apartment, turning to close the door as he leaned in to kiss her. He pulled back from her slightly, a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, Swan,” he said in greeting, “you called and cancelled our plans. I thought I’d drop by anyway, see what’s up.” He glanced at the group around the table, then up at the loft. “Is there a problem with the boy? You said you had to go pick him up.”

“Yeah,” she said reluctantly, “Henry’s kind of…he got some bad news tonight.” She hesitated, knowing the last thing Killian would want to hear about was Gold’s problems. Between what Killian and Neal had told her, the previous incident in New York, and more recent events, she knew there was a lot of bad blood between the men. “Gold’s in the hospital in New York City.”

Killian barked out a laugh. “So what’s the bad news?” he said with a grin that probably came automatically at the thought of ill befalling the man who had just tried to kill him days earlier.

“That is the bad news,” David cut in, a sudden hint of anger in his tone. “Henry’s upset about his grandfather.”

Killian shrugged, and Emma had to bite back another sigh. This was exactly why she did not want to deal with him tonight. She knew he wasn’t being deliberately callous, at least not really. Given their history, Killian’s reaction was probably _mostly_ reflexive. He had valid reasons to hate Gold and wish him ill – just as Gold had valid reasons to reciprocate those feelings – but this was _not_ what her son needed right now.

“Henry’s very upset, especially after what happened to his dad,” Emma tried to explain, struggling to keep the frustration out of her tone. She did not want to start an argument, not with Henry just a few feet away. “Apparently, it’s bad enough that Gold might die, or at least that’s what Henry seems to believe.”

“Come on, Swan,” Killian said, the grin dropping from his face. “Would it really be a bad thing if the Crocodile dies?”

Before she could formulate a reply, another voice cut in, very angry and very loud – louder than it should have been. She stepped away from Killian, shocked to find Henry standing just a couple of feet away, his packed bag gripped in his hand. “That’s not your decision to make!” he yelled, fury blazing in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Hook kind of stepped in it, didn’t he? He’s responding according to his gut, which is “Something bad happened to the Crocodile? That’s a good thing.” To his mind, of course, it’s not a bad thing (and that feeling is not completely unjustified on Hook’s part), and while most people would probably give him a bit of leeway in that feeling (as Emma does here), Henry is not really in the mood for that attitude (nor would Belle be if she had been the one to overhear Hook’s remarks – I can see her smacking him good if he’d said the same thing in front of her). At this point, Hook really doesn’t know Henry all that well, so it would not occur to him to censor himself to spare Henry’s feelings. 
> 
> In Chapter 7, “Conflicting Views,” Henry argues with Hook about his grandfather, while everyone else tries to play peacemaker and comfort an increasingly upset Henry, who shocks most of them with just how much he knows about recent events.


	7. Conflicting Views

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the conversation from last chapter, Hook tries to convince Henry of all the evil Rumplestiltskin has done, but Henry refuses to allow that to influence him in his concern for his grandfather. Afterwards, David reaches out in understanding to his grandson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, me! No last-minute disasters or illnesses to hold back posting the next part.

**Chapter 7 – Conflicting Views**

Henry had heard Hook enter the apartment, but had tried to tune out the conversation going on below. That had only worked until he’d heard his grandfather raise his voice in anger, apparently in response to something the younger – older? – man had said. He was finished with his packing – he had lingered in the loft because he wasn’t quite ready to deal with the objections his grandparents were sure to raise.

Hook had valid reasons for hating Rumplestiltskin – and he knew the reverse was just as true based on the stories in his book and events since Hook had arrived in Storybrooke. He pushed all that aside. He didn’t care what Hook thought, but he just couldn’t let the pirate respond as callously as he appeared to be. It had to be something particularly bad, just based on the tone of David’s voice. He almost never got angry, at least angry enough to raise his voice like that.

Unseen by the others – their attention was focused on Hook – he made his way downstairs with his bag in hand and caught the end of his mother’s attempted explanation as well the unfeeling response. Angry, trying not to shake, he strode forward and yelled at Hook without even thinking about it. “That’s not your decision to make!”

He ignored all the eyes suddenly on him, his attention on Emma and her pirate boyfriend – or whatever she was calling him these days – as he dropped his bag onto the floor. Her mouth fell open in surprise, but before she could recover and step in, the momentary silence was disrupted by a loud cry from Neal, who had been startled by the loud noise.

Bouncing the baby lightly in her arms in an attempt to settle him back down, his grandmother got up and came over to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Of course not,” she said in a gentle tone. She stood next to him, shifting the baby to one arm so that she could place her free hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “We all know that this is very upsetting for you. Nobody is telling you that you are not allowed to be upset about Gold being in the hospital.”

Henry ignored her attempt at comfort in order to glare at Hook. He didn’t care that Henry was upset. That was obvious from his casual stance and the unapologetic look on his face. He wasn’t concerned, not at all. That stoked Henry’s ire even higher. It was one thing to not care about whether Rumplestiltskin lived or died. It was quite another to express his feelings so bluntly in front of Rumplestiltskin’s family.

“Look, I get that the Crocodile is the boy’s grandfather…” Hook began.

“Killian!” Emma interrupted sharply. Hook glanced at her for a moment before his bearing suddenly changed and he spread his arms in supplication, attempting to adopt a calmer tone that did not sound quite right as he tried to clarify his remarks.

“Being family does not excuse everything he’s done,” he tried to explain. “If Belle hadn’t saved everyone the trouble by throwing his arse out…”

This time the interruption came from his other mother. “Language, pirate,” Regina spat out.

“…out of town,” he continued over her protest, as if she had never said anything, “the Dark One would be sitting in a cell right now for what he tried to do a few days ago. You think he wouldn’t be able to escape from there to terrorize everyone again?” Henry’s eyes flicked over to his adoptive mother. Her gaze was narrowed, and he could almost imagine her considering what spells to throw at Hook if he got too out of hand. In other circumstances, Henry might have thought about how much he appreciated his mother at this moment. At least there was someone else willing to defend his grandfather.

“That doesn’t mean he deserves to die!” Henry protested hotly. “By the way, how were you punished after you tried to murder my grandmother? How many days did _you_ spend in jail?”

“I never tried to murder your grandmother,” Hook protested, confusion clouding his expression.

“He means Belle,” David reminded him in a quiet tone.

“Yeah, remember her?” Henry continued. “The woman you shot in Grandpa’s arms, causing her to fall over the town line and lose her memory? And why – just because she loves the man you were obsessed with getting revenge against? What was it that you told Mom was your excuse? _I hurt his heart. Belle is just where he keeps it._ And didn’t you terrorize her in the library shortly before that just so you could break into Grandpa’s shop?”

“Your grandmother’s name _was_ Milah,” Hook replied angrily, his blue eyes flashing. “Do you know how she died? Her heart was ripped from her chest and crushed right in front of her eyes by the man you call ‘Grandpa.’”

“My grandmother?” Henry echoed in disbelief. He knelt down and yanked at the zipper on his bag, digging through it to pull his book from the bottom. As he stood, he flipped through the pages, looking for a particular story. Finding the one he wanted, he turned the book so that Hook could see it. “You mean the one who walked out on her husband and five-year-old son, let them believe that she was dead, and spent the next ten years sailing around with you as a pirate?”

Hook glanced down at the book, then quickly looked away from the illustration of he, Milah and Rumplestiltskin on the deck of the _Jolly Roger_ , Milah’s heart glowing red in the Dark One’s hand, his hand poised to crush. “The Croc let Bae go, too,” he argued.

“Regretted it and spent the next 300 years trying to find him again,” Henry countered. He remembered standing on the streets of Manhattan with the man he didn’t yet know was his grandfather, eating a hotdog and trying to reassure him that everything would be fine. He could still hear the firmness and certainty in his grandfather’s voice when he said that he wanted Bae back. He knew that Bae was one of the two people whom his grandfather would go to the ends of the earth for. He had proven that in spades. Family was the most important thing to Rumplestiltskin, no matter what else people thought of him.

“I was there when Grandpa found Dad. I talked to him. I know how much he wanted to find my dad. I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his words. So tell me, when you and my so-called _grandmother_ were busy sailing the seven seas, how many times did you take her back home to see Dad?” At Hook’s silence, the man shifting from foot to foot uneasily, Henry shook his head. “That’s what I thought. What makes you think she deserves to be considered my family?”

“Milah regretted leaving Bae, too,” Hook protested, a hint of distress entering his tone. He couldn’t argue that they had not gone back once in the following ten years. “She intended to go back, bring him with us.”

“As Grandpa is fond of saying,” Henry said, “ _intent is meaningless_. She never went back and then you later tried to convince dad to turn against Grandpa and when he wouldn’t do it, you turned him over to Pan.”

“How did…?” Hook asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

“I heard things,” Henry replied flippantly. “Not much else to do when we sailed back to Storybrooke after _you_ tried to murder Grandpa in Manhattan. I heard Dad telling Mom how exactly he knew you. She had asked after hearing him tell me he had spent time with you in Neverland. Dad wouldn’t tell me much beyond that, so I listened when he told Mom the whole story.”

Emma tried to step in between Henry and Hook, swallowing nervously. “Maybe this isn’t the best time,” she directed at Hook. “Everyone is upset right now…”

“He’s not,” Henry protested.

“Of course not,” Hook said. “He tried to kill me less than a week ago.”

Henry snorted. “And you’ve never tried to kill him?” he countered, taking a step forward, ignoring the restraining hand of his grandmother on his shoulder. Suddenly, his voice got quiet. “I was there in Manhattan, remember? I just told you that. Dad and I had already started up the stairs when we heard the attack, and he forced me to continue to his apartment so I wouldn’t get caught up in whatever was happening. But I still saw the aftermath. I saw the grandfather I had _just found_ bleeding from a hook wound to the chest and poison racing through him. I may have just found out that I was related to him, but I’ve known him my entire life and I nearly watched him die because of you.”

“I’m sure Hook didn’t mean for you to see all that,” Mary Margaret said, squeezing his shoulder again, hoping to calm the situation.

“Of course not,” Hook agreed quickly. “You were not meant to see that, lad.”

“Doesn’t really matter, since I did,” Henry said. “I wouldn’t have seen it if you hadn’t tried to kill him. Of course, I know your excuse is that he is the Dark One, but what about the first time you met? He wasn’t the Dark One yet then. He was just a poor, crippled spinner whose wife he thought you had kidnapped, leaving him alone with a five-year-old boy.”

Henry could hear the gasps from most of the others – Regina was the only one who had read his book in full, so she was probably the only one who knew that story – but he ignored them as he plowed on, “You tried to belittle a defenseless man into a sword fight for his wife, a fight he couldn’t possibly win. You didn’t care they had a small child at home. You went after Grandpa in the Land Without Magic _because_ you knew it would be harder for him to fight the poison without magic. You went after Grandma just because she loves Grandpa, when she had never done anything to you. You turned Dad over to Pan when he refused to help you. You don’t care about anything or anyone if it won’t get you what you want. You’re selfish and a bully. Why should I listen to you?”

“I was a different man then,” Hook protested weakly.

“Really?” Regina countered coolly. “You hate Rumplestiltskin. Everyone knows that. We would all agree for the most part that you have your reasons for doing so. But Henry’s right, you are selfish. You’re arguing that Henry shouldn’t care about his grandfather, but it’s not because of anything Rumple has done to Henry. It’s all about what you feel. You didn’t care that Neal loved his father when you turned him over to Pan. You didn’t care that Belle loved Rumple when you went after her both in the Enchanted Forest and here. You obviously don’t care either that Henry loves his grandfather. News flash, pirate – this isn’t about you at all. It is about my son, however, and…” She glanced around at the others. “…he is _our_ primary concern right now. You don’t have a part in this, regardless of what you think.”

Henry almost smiled at his mother’s pointed defense, but then realized what she had said. “He went after Grandma in the Enchanted Forest?” he asked. That story wasn’t in his book.

Regina looked somewhat uncomfortable. “It was after she was thrown out of the Dark Castle,” she explained vaguely. “It was the same situation as with your dad – he wanted Belle to help him go after Rumple.”

‘Leaving something out there, aren’t you, Your Majesty?” Hook sneered. “Or did you forget that when I approached Belle, she was being held prisoner _by you,_ also because of her relationship with the Crocodile?”

“I already knew about that,” Henry said. He rolled his eyes. Hook had obviously not paid attention to anything Regina had just said. “Something else I overheard when Grandpa told Gramps where Grandma had come from when she suddenly appeared after the curse broke.”

“This isn’t about me, pirate,” Regina argued. “I’m not the one trying to turn my son against his grandfather.”

“The boy seems to be willfully blind to what the Crocodile has done,” Hook said angrily. He turned to Henry. “He tried to put your mother in that damned hat.”

“I know that,” Henry yelled. “I know about what almost happened to Mom. I know that the fairies are still trapped in the hat. I know he almost crushed your heart, which is why Grandpa is in New York and not here being forced to explain his actions. And there is an explanation. I know there is. If there is one thing everything should know about Rumplestiltskin, it is that he almost never does anything without a reason. How can anyone judge if we don’t know what that reason is?”

“This is the same man who was planning to leave this town to face the Snow Queen’s wrath while escaping the Spell of Shattered Sight with you and Belle,” Hook shot back. “You never would have seen your family again.”

“You mean the way you almost left Storybrooke to its fate when Greg and Tamara activated Mom’s failsafe?” Henry countered. “I heard about that one, too. I may not agree with what he was doing, but at least I know that Grandpa was trying to protect me and Belle from what we all thought was an unbreakable spell.”

David glanced at his watch. “It’s getting late,” he said in a placating tone, “and we don’t need to have this discussion now.”

“Yeah, Henry should probably get to bed,” Emma agreed quickly. “We’re probably going to have to leave pretty early for Boston.” She turned to Hook, her expression unreadable. “Killian, why don’t we talk in the hall? Henry, I’ll work on getting you guys your plane tickets in a few minutes.” Hook nodded reluctantly, apparently realizing he wasn’t going to win this one, and followed her out the door.

“David’s right,” Regina agreed, downing the last of her cocoa. “It is late and Emma’s right. Tomorrow will probably be an early day and a long one, as well.”

“Are you coming with us to the airport?” Henry asked hopefully.

“Of course, I am,” Regina promised. She even managed a weak smile. “I’m sure Emma and I can handle a few hours in the car together.” She got up and hugged her son, brushing a lock of hair back from his forehead. “Do you want to stay here with Emma and your grandparents tonight instead of with me?”

Henry shrugged. It didn’t really matter to him, although his fatigue and worry was finally catching up to him and he knew that he could easily fall into bed immediately. Under different circumstances, he would have been proud of her for offering to share his time without prompting. “I guess,” he said. Pulling away from Mary Margaret’s comforting touch, he turned and quickly headed back up to the loft. Choking back tears, he threw himself onto his stomach on the bed, grabbing a pillow and wrapping his arms around it.

He heard footsteps on the ladder and glanced over his shoulder as David’s head appeared. He climbed into the loft and sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing Henry’s back in a calming gesture. For a long moment, he didn’t speak as he comforted Henry, who was trying not to break down. “I’m sorry, Henry,” he finally said.

Henry looked over his shoulder again to give David a curious glance. “I know you’re upset,” David continued. “We all realize that now. We’re just sorry we didn’t know before.”

Henry managed a shrug. “It’s not your fault,” he said softly. “You’ve all got other things….”

“That’s no excuse,” David said. “We still should have been paying attention. We should have realized. You never got to say goodbye to your dad before he died and now your grandfather is ill.”

“You’ve got a new baby,” Henry said. “He’s your priority.”

“You’re still our grandson,” David countered. “And I know your moms are upset about this, too. You _are_ their first priority. I guess it’s just hard for us to remember sometimes that we’re not your only family and we really are sorry about that. All we can do is try to remember that and do better in the future.”

“You almost never talk to Grandma and Grandpa unless you need anything,” Henry said in a resigned tone.

David couldn’t deny that. It was easier to deal with Rumplestiltskin only when they needed help, and then avoid the man the rest of the time. Belle, unfortunately, as nice a woman as she was, often got tarred by her association with him, not just with them, but with the entire town. She was almost as much of an outsider as Rumplestiltskin was, and that was only partially due to the fact that almost no one had known her, even back in the Enchanted Forest, before she suddenly appeared after the curse broke. “That’s true,” he admitted reluctantly.

Henry sighed, turning his head to look at his grandfather. “You remember after the curse broke,” he asked, “and you guys were always fighting with Mom over me? There were times I just wanted you all to stop because I hated being stuck in the middle. I loved all of you and, much as I wanted to get to know Mom and you and Gram, I never wanted to have to choose between you. I wanted all of you as my family. I still do, only that family includes my other grandparents now.”

“That’s what you feel like now,” David realized with a sigh, “like you’re caught in the middle.” He shook his head. “I understand. I guess all we can do is try to understand and be better about allowing you to have relationship with your other grandparents.”

He looked thoughtful, his gaze distant, as if he were remembering something. “I had quite a few interactions with Rumplestiltskin back before the curse,” he said. “He said something…I was surprised to find out the Dark One was capable of loving someone and it’s been obvious here too, with your dad and Belle. He called Belle a _flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness._ I think Neal, and now you, are that for him, too, given the lengths he was willing to go to in order to protect you in Neverland and here with the Snow Queen. I guess it’s easier for the rest of us to just see him as the Dark One and forget all the rest.”

“I know,” Henry said softly. His head jerked as he heard raised voices coming from the outside the appointment. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but it was apparent that his mother and Hook were having an argument. “I hate that Hook thinks he can talk me out of caring for Grandpa.” Just like he tried with his dad, he thought. Just like he tried with Belle, from what Regina had said.

“In his defense,” David said carefully, “it’s not easy to let go of that much hate.”

“I guess,” Henry said, “but that has nothing to do with me. Just like my relationship with Grandpa has nothing to do with him. He won’t understand that.”

“I know,” David agreed. “Try not to think about what Hook said, okay? You concentrate on what you need to do and that is to be there for your grandfather.”

“Thanks, Grams,” Henry said, managing a weak smile. Suddenly, he pushed himself up and threw his arms around his grandfather. David immediately returned the embrace, holding Henry tightly.

“It will be okay, Henry,” he said reassuringly.

Henry was quiet for a long moment, his face half-buried in David’s shirt. Finally, he said softly, almost too softly for David to hear, “I’m scared.”

“I know, Henry. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also love the relationship between David and Henry. Really, David has been the main father-figure in Henry’s life since the curse – especially when Mary Margaret and Emma were stuck in the Enchanted Forest, but the show has gotten away from that relationship as well. The last meaningful interaction they had was when David tried to teach Henry how to drive, and Henry had no clue who David was at the time. Yikes, was that really two seasons ago?
> 
> Once again, just to avoid any arguments that this is anti-Hook - It’s not. Everything that Hook says, as well as Henry’s counterarguments, are all true. The problem between the two of them is more a matter of perspective. Hook just can’t understand why Henry would continue to support his grandfather and that he might genuinely love him, just like he couldn’t understand it when he tried to sway Bae (in Neverland) and Belle (in the Enchanted Forest) to his side. Henry does know what his grandfather has done, but he will not let that deter him, any more than Regina’s past actions affect his love for her. Both their positions are understandable taking into account their respective characters, but no one is going to be whitewashed either – not Hook here and not Rumple later when he has to explain his actions. Later, we’ll actually see Hook’s perspective when they are all forced to deal with Zelena as well as Rumple.
> 
> In Chapter 8, “Dagger Through Her Hopes,” Belle is torn about how she is going to deal with Rumple when she makes a discovery that makes her realize just how dire the situation is with her husband.


	8. Dagger Through Her Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belle comes to a realization – with a little help – on just how dire the situation is with Rumplestiltskin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. Those of you who follow me on Tumblr (teacupsroses) already may have seen me hint about the reason why. Murphy and his damned law hate me – and so does MS Word, which decided to dump my unsaved work (both the chapter and the separate document where I wrote out the dialogue first) after a brief power flicker, despite autosave being set up in the software. So I got to rewrite everything and I am now trying to remember to close MS Word – or at least save my latest changes – before stepping away from the computer for any reason.

**Chapter 8 – Dagger Through Her Hopes**

Belle lay on her bed – their bed – staring up at the ceiling without seeing. There was still so much to do, but she needed a moment. Her head was pounding, her face still streaked with the tears she’d shed. She had thought that if she could just lay down for a moment or two, she would start to feel better. Then she could then take care of what needed to be done.

It was folly. There was no way she could feel better, not now. Even without closing her eyes, all she could see was her husband, sick and alone – all because of her. She could imagine the tubes and the machines and all the other medical devices from this world of technology connected to him, trying to keep him alive.

She had not had to send him over the town line. There were other ways she could have dealt with him, she now realized. She had the dagger. She could have done anything. Instead, she had lashed out at him in the cruelest, most vicious way, driven by an inexplicable need to hurt him as much as she was hurting. She had blindly struck out at him without counting the cost – to him and to her own soul.

Although maybe it was a good thing he was out there and not in Storybrooke – where they depended on Dr. Frankenstein for the majority of medical care beyond the basic care that Doc provided – or in the Enchanted Forest, where herbs that may or may not do anything and prayers offered by clerics were the best ‘medical’ care that their old world could offer. Maybe the Land Without Magic _could_ keep him alive.

She groaned in frustration, pressing her hands to the sides of her head. She needed to stop thinking about this, to push it all from her mind so that she could concentrate on doing what needed to be done.

No matter what she did, whether her eyes were opened or closed, all she could see was her husband, broken and ill. Was he calling for her, wondering why she was not there yet, or had he resigned himself to the idea that she would not come at all? After all, why would he have any reason to believe that the woman who had ripped his heart out so cruelly was interested in chasing after him, even in the face of a life-threatening illness.

As she blinked back tears, her right hand reached out, finding nothing but a space that had been empty for nearly a week. It had become an automatic gesture ever since the night he’d come home after the witch had been defeated, one meant to reassure herself that he was really there after all their time apart. For the last six nights, it had become a stark reminder that he was gone, never to return.

The second night he was gone – she had been too devastated the first night to think about where she slept – she had tried to stay at the apartment over the library, but there were nearly as many memories there as at the house they had shared on and off since the breaking of the original curse. Even with the passage of a year and a second curse cast and broken since they had spent time together in the apartment, there were still reminders of him in that tiny space, some spare clothes of his still hanging in the closet, a book they had been reading together before she had lost her memory still sitting on an end table.

After a few sleepless hours, she had given up and returned to the house. She had told herself that if she was going to suffer through the memories of what had been, she might as well do it in comfort. That was not the real reason, much as she had tried not to think about _that_ , even as she continued to reach out to his side of the bed, to roll over and bury her face in his pillow.

Sighing, she grabbed that pillow and clutched it to her. She had washed the linens the third day that he had been gone – all except this pillowcase. As long as she could cling to this small reminder, could inhale the faint scent of him still clinging to the soft fabric, she could pretend for a time that it was not real, that Rumple was just stuck at the shop late or that he had gone on a trip.  She had completely ignored the fact that the Snow Queen’s curse made returning from such a trip impossible.

Just as she had during endless years in Regina’s cell and in the asylum, she would somehow fall asleep and dream, hoping that when she woke up she was living out her dreams instead of the nightmare that her life had actually become. Rumple would be here and whole and healthy. There would be no dagger between them, no lies. Hook would not have nearly died. The fairies would not be trapped in that damned hat. Everything would go back to the way it was when…

When would it go back to? Their life so far in Storybrooke had never been free of unspoken truths, obsessed fathers looking to save their precious princess from the monster, vengeful pirates holding on to a 300-plus year old feud, demonic fathers disguised as teenage boys who would happily murder their own family. What did they have to go back to, at any time in their lives? They could not just waive a magical wand and return things to a time when everything had been simpler, when they weren’t at threat of being torn apart by forces both internal and external. There was no such time, either in Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest.

Belle heard the doorbell ring, startling her out of her thoughts. With a frustrated sigh, she turned onto her side facing his side of the bed, tightening her hold on the pillow. She was still waiting to hear what their travel arrangements were going to be, but someone could call and let her know that. They did not have to show up at her front door at – she stole a glance at the alarm clock on Rumple’s nightstand – 8:15 in the evening when she was supposed to be busy packing not only for herself, but for Rumple.

Her resolve to ignore whoever was at the door ended when the sound of the doorbell was replaced by someone pounding loudly on the door. Angrily, she pushed herself up, tossing the pillow back onto the bed before storming downstairs, ready to give whoever was at the door a piece of her mind.

As she reached the staircase landing next to the door, she could make out just enough through the stained glass to determine who was interrupting her solitude. Grabbing the door knob, she yanked the door open wide. “What do you want, Regina?” she demanded.

With a grim expression, Regina entered the house without waiting to be invited in. “Emma made your flight reservations,” she explained. “I put it on my credit card. You and Henry are flying out of Boston at 8 a.m. The flight is about an hour and a half, so you should land at JFK around 9:30, barring any delays. She also made you hotel reservations just a block from the hospital that Henry said Rumple is in. The flight is one-way and she made the hotel reservation for a couple of weeks, since you don’t know how long you’ll be in New York.”

Regina handed some papers to Belle, who took them without even a glance. “So what,” Belle said in an exasperated tone, “you came over here to tell me that I owe you for this? Let me go get my checkbook.”

With a sigh, Regina rolled her eyes. “Of course not,” she replied, keeping her own voice level. “That was secondary. I’m not worried about the money right now. I think we need to talk.”

She turned and went into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa. Frustrated, Belle followed behind her. She set the papers Regina had given her on the coffee table then folded her hands across her chest as she stood on the other side of the table, hoping that Regina would get the hint that she was not wanted there.

“If this is a repeat of what you said a few days ago…” Belle began.

“No,” Regina interrupted with a dismissive wave of her hand, “nothing like that. I’m sure I made my feelings clear the other day.” Folding her hands in her lap, she took a breath. “Something was brought up at the Charmings that you need to think about, decide what you’re going to do.”

“And what is that?”

“It’s about the dagger,” Regina replied.

Immediately, Belle’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. _How dare she bring that up_ , she thought. _So much for having made her feelings clear the other day._ “What about it?’ she demanded.

“Look, I’m here as Rumple’s…friend,” Regina continued in what for her was a friendly tone. At least, it was the friendliest that Belle had ever heard her sound. “Surely you have thought about the possibility of bringing Rumple back to Storybrooke.”

“Of course,” Belle said. It had been hard not to since Henry had brought that very thing up after Robin’s phone call. She had just resolved to think about that later. First, she had to get to New York and see her husband.

“The others talked about controlling him again with the dagger,” Regina said. “I don’t know if that is such a good idea after everything that has happened and I told them that.”

Belle let out a short, bitter laugh. “That’s rich, coming from you,” she countered. “You’re the one who gave me the dagger – or at least the fake one – in the first place, remember?”

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Regina said quietly, almost to herself, “that Rumple switched the dagger in the barn before I even got a hold of it.”

She paused before continuing in a normal tone, “Of course, I remember. I’m willing to admit that I was wrong about that. Are you?”

Belle clenched her hands into fists. She had been tormenting herself with that very question, but the last thing she was willing to do was admit that to Regina. They were not friends and never would be. “So what about the dagger?” she asked, ignoring the question. “If I don’t use it on him when he comes back to Storybrooke, what do you suggest?”

Regina ignored the sarcasm in her tone. “Pan’s cuffs,” she replied, “the ones that dampen magic. I’m pretty sure those came back with the second curse. Emma and Charming told me before I left to come over here that they have seen them since then. His magic could be controlled without resorting to using the dagger and he wouldn’t be able to remove it himself. At least, he couldn’t remove it without cutting off his own arm, but that’s a bit drastic, even for Rumple, especially under these circumstances.”

She paused a moment before continuing, “I think you still need the dagger.”

“I hid it as soon as I left the town line that night,” Belle said.

Regina nodded. “Where?”

“At the abandoned construction site, near the beach,” she replied.

Without warning, Belle found herself caught up in Regina’s magic. She stumbled in surprise after the teleportation spell deposited them in the area she had just mentioned. Regina reached out to steady her, but Belle quickly shrugged her arm away.

“How about a little warning next time,” she said angrily.

“No time like the present,” Regina said, her tone unrepentant. “Now exactly where is it?”

Without answering, Belle took a few seconds to glance around before stalking off to a spot about 50 yards away. She carefully stepped over the uneven ground, noticing that at least Regina had thoughtfully provided her with a pair of boots for her stocking-clad feet as they had teleported.

Crouching down, Belle used her hands to push away sand and debris, feeling a familiar rough cloth beneath her fingertips after a few minutes. She pulled it out of the hole and stood, unwrapping the cloth from around the dagger. As she caught her first glimpse of the silver blade, she stumbled backwards in shock, barely maintaining her hold on the dagger and cloth.

This time, she didn’t pull away when Regina came up behind her and put her hands on her arms to steady her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Regina looking over her shoulder at the blade she held in her shaking hand.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Regina said quietly, her eyes fixed on the name etched on the blade.

Belle spun around on her heel in shock, instinctively taking a step back to keep from accidentally hitting Regina with the dagger. “What do you mean?” she demanded. Deep down, she suspected she knew exactly what the other woman meant. Belle knew as much as anyone – if not more – about the dagger tied to the curse of the Dark One, aside from perhaps Rumplestiltskin himself. She had studied it extensively after his resurrection both in the Enchanted Forest and then in Storybrooke, looking for ways to free him from the witch’s control.

“I don’t know how much you were made aware of after the attack on Rumple in Manhattan,” Regina began, “since you were…indisposed at the time.”

“I know Rumple almost died,” she explained, her voice soft as she remembered. “He called me…” Her voice trailed off as she blinked back tears. Even after being cursed with Lacey’s false memories by Regina and then regaining her true memories thanks to the Blue Fairy’s potion, she still remembered that phone call. If she closed her eyes, she could still hear the pain in her love’s voice as he tried to tell her who she was, tried to tell her goodbye.

“While Rumple was in New York,” Regina reminded her, “my mother was in town.”

Belle nodded. Cora had already been in town before she had been shot by Hook. In fact, she still remembered Regina interrupting her and Rumple’s first attempt at a date to warn them about Cora before her arrival. “I know,” she simply said, shaking her head as if by doing so she could banish the memories.

“She wanted the dagger,” Regina continued. “Originally, she said that she just wanted to control the Dark One, said she could use him to remove the obstacles keeping me from Henry, but she…she eventually decided that _she_ wanted to be the Dark One. The Charmings had retrieved the dagger from the clock tower after Rumple apparently told Emma where it was hidden, but she stole it from them…” Her voice trailed off.

“And?” Belle asked in a shaky voice, suddenly cold. Careful of the dagger in her hand, she wrapped her arms around her torso as if trying to warm herself.

Regina took a deep breath before she replied, “His name was fading from the dagger after Hook stabbed him, just like it is now.”

With a sharp cry, Belle loosened her grip on the dagger still clutched in her hand, tightening her arms around herself. This was proof – actual, physical proof – that her husband’s life was in danger. He was dying.

She took a few steps, stumbling over the uneven ground before falling to her knees. Tears falling freely now, she didn’t even notice the pain as construction debris cut through her stockings, scraping the skin of her calves and knees. Throwing her hands out instinctively to steady herself, she heaved, throwing up the remains of the light lunch she’d had hours earlier.

_Gods_ , she thought as she struggled not to choke on the bile continuing to rise in her throat, _I did this. If I hadn’t thrown him out of town, he wouldn’t be dying._

She barely noticed Regina kneeling next to her, surprisingly gentle hands pulling her hair back from around her face. After a few minutes, when it was obvious that nothing more would be coming back up, she felt those hands on her upper arms, Regina helping her to stand back up before releasing her.

Belle started to turn back towards the dagger she had dropped, but Regina was already there, bending down to retrieve it and the cloth it was now laying on top of. To Belle’s surprise, Regina held it out for her to take. Her hands shaking, she took the dagger back, her eyes locking once again on the name, the first two letters completely gone and the ‘m’ partially faded. “Why?” she asked in a shaky voice.

Regina did not bother to prevaricate. She knew what she was being asked. “You needed to know,” she simply said.

“I already know what I did,” Belle said, affecting an angry tone to mask her despair. “I don’t need you…”

“That’s not the point,” Regina said, exasperation creeping into her tone. “I’ve already had my say on that topic.” She paused for a long moment before continuing in a calmer tone. “As his name is still etched on that blade, Rumple is still alive.”

Belle looked up from the dagger as she realized exactly what Regina was saying. “I can use the dagger to monitor his condition until we get to the hospital,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

Regina nodded. “Exactly,” she said before teleporting them back to the house, depositing them on the front porch.

Managing not to drop the dagger as Regina’s spell caught her by surprise once again, Belle caught herself as she stumbled, reaching out with her free hand to steady herself against the front door. She moved her hand to the door handle, finding the door still unlocked. She had not thought to lock it when she had arrived home earlier, and Regina had transported them out of the house using magic.

“Emma and I will be by with Henry in a few hours,” Regina informed her as Belle opened the door. “We need to be at the airport by 7 a.m. so you and Henry can catch your flight. Get what sleep you can after you pack. It will take about four hours to drive to Boston, so you can also try to get some sleep in the car.”

She turned towards the front stairs to leave, Belle momentarily surprised until she saw Regina’s car parked at the curb. She had obviously not used magic for all of her transportation needs that evening. “Regina?” Belle called out as Regina started down the front steps.

Regina stopped on the steps and turned to look back at her. “Thank you,” Belle said.

Regina nodded once before turning and continuing to her car, Belle watching her leave as if in a daze. She lifted the dagger, name facing up, her gaze falling to it once again as Regina got in her car and drove away. She stayed on the porch for several minutes after Regina was gone before finally going back into the house, closing the door and locking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Chapter 9 – “Road Trip” – Belle, Henry, Regina and Emma face a four-hour drive to Boston while Henry tries to remain hopeful, Belle tries to find something to help in some books she brought along and Emma and Regina try not to let on to their son the state of Rumplestiltskin’s name on the dagger. 
> 
> And as a reward for your patience in waiting for this part, I hope to have a surprise for all of you in the next day or two. Not saying what, but you’ll know it when you see it.


	9. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Belle and Henry’s trip to New York begins. Henry tries to remain hopeful, the state of the dagger being kept from him at the insistence of Regina and Emma, while he and Belle begin researching in some of the books she brought along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. There’s been a lot going on, medically at least. I spent a week in the hospital undergoing tests (that was planned) and had only been out for a day when I ended up back in the hospital with a nasty viral infection (I could not even keep water in my stomach). It took a while to get fully over the infection, so I haven’t felt like doing much of anything recently.

After a few mostly sleepless hours spent in bed staring at the ceiling, Regina was back at Belle’s door at 2:30 AM, several books cradled in her arms.  Belle look just as tired as Regina felt, stifling a yawn behind her hand.  “You’re a little early,” Belle said as she motioned Regina into the house.  “I haven’t quite finished packing.  I spent part of the night going between the library and the shop, trying to pick out books to take along which might be useful.  I’m still trying to get them packed.”

She gestured towards two suitcases in the foyer next to the staircase, Rumplestiltskin’s cane lying across the top of them.  Regina tried to force back her sudden anger at the sight of the cane.  She had not known that when Rumplestiltskin had been banished, it had been without his cane.  She knew that being outside of Storybrooke would have brought back his limp.  How had he made it to the next town, let alone all the way to New York City? 

Belle continued, “I already have two suitcases packed with clothes for me and for Rumple.  Some of the books are large, so they’re proving a bit difficult to pack.”

She led Regina into the living room, where a third suitcase lay open on the sofa and books were piled on the coffee table.  “I put a few in the bag I’m taking on the airplane with me and I’m trying to get the rest in this suitcase.”  She glanced at the books Regina was carrying.  “What are those?”

Regina was silent for a long moment, but finally held the books out to her.  She reminded herself that there was no time to relive their conversation of a few days previous in the library.  At least it seemed that Belle was planning to make things right, at least to a certain extent.  “Rumple gave them to me when I was his student,” she explained as Belle took the books, flipping through the top one.

At the dubious look Belle shot her, she added, “They’re not all dark magic.  They have to do with healing magic.  Rumple always said that even the darkest of sorcerers need to know at least enough about healing to take care of themselves.” 

She adopted a pose and expression similar to one she had seen many times from Rumplestiltskin.  She could almost hear his high-pitched, sing-song tone as she repeated the words she had heard so many times from him during her training.  “Many a sorcerer, either through lack of knowledge or experience, has done more damage to themselves than their intended victim.”

With a sigh, she added, “I wouldn’t have been any good for casting his curse if I managed to injure myself too badly, or even kill myself, through a miscast spell.”

“Of course not,” Belle murmured with a frown.  Regina wondered if she was unhappy with the reminder of her husband’s part in cursing all of them to the Land Without Magic.  Given everything that he had done in the last two weeks, Belle probably did not want to think about other bad deeds that Rumplestiltskin had committed in the past.

Regina decided to change the subject.  Not that she would not have been perfectly happy to debate Rumplestiltskin’s actions and the reasons behind them going back to the planning for the Dark Curse, which she already had done to a certain extent during the argument in the library, but she needed Belle focused on figuring out what was wrong with him and how to fix it.

Of course, not knowing what was wrong with him made it difficult to narrow down the selection of books.  If they left some possibly useful books behind in Storybrooke, it would probably turn out to be one of those books which would have the needed information.  As large as some of the books were, they obviously would not fit in the suitcase.

“I can perform a spell, make them small enough to fit in the suitcase.”  Her gaze swept over the books and she realized there was another potential problem.  “I should probably change their physical appearance as well.  Some of these books look more suited for a museum than for casual reading in the World Without Magic.” 

Regina pondered the spell she would need for a long moment.  Once set, it would need to remain over the books until a counter-spell was performed once they returned to Storybrooke.  The books would have to retain their changed appearance even after they passed over the town line or there would be no point in taking them.

She waved her hand in the direction of the books in Belle’s hands, transfiguring them into a size and shape which would not look out of place to the average person.  Reaching over, she flipped open the top book to a random page and started reading over Belle’s shoulder.  She’d had to balance making the books smaller while allowing the text to still be readable.  As a result, she was not able to make the books small enough to where they might have fit into the other two suitcases and eliminate the need for a third suitcase.

It took just a few more seconds to transform the rest of the books, both those on the table and the ones already packed into Belle’s carry-on bag, into something which would not draw notice and was a bit easier to transport.  Between the two of them, it took just a few minutes to pack them into the suitcase.

Belle zipped the suitcase up and moved it off the couch.  Regina was a bit surprised – there were a lot of books, so the suitcase was bound to be a bit heavy, especially for the tiny librarian.  Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Belle explained, “I move heavy things all the time – boxes of new books, a return cart full of books.  I’m used to it.”

Regina brushed aside the explanation.  It was not important right now.  “After I left here last night,” she said, “I told Emma about the dagger.  She mentioned that if you take it in your carry-on bag, it is certain to be confiscated as a weapon when you go through security.  She also said that it may not be much safer in your checked baggage, as those are also scanned and someone might decide to check out the dagger if it shows up on their scanning equipment.”

She reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out a vial of potion.  “This is something like a potion equivalent to the spell I did on the books.  Items with magical properties can be used in the Land Without Magic as long as someone doesn’t have to cast any spells or put any emotion into what they are doing.”

She handed the vial to Belle.  “Just pour a few drops onto the dagger.  I added a little something extra to the spell so that the dagger will take the form of a pen, something that will be innocuous in your purse.  After you get to New York, use a few more drops to transform it back into the dagger.  There’s enough potion for several transformations back and forth, so you should have plenty, assuming you transform it into a pen now, change it back to the dagger after you reach New York, and then to a pen again when you are ready to get on a flight back.”

“Can we test both transformations now?” Belle asked, her tone skeptical.  Regina wasn’t surprised.  She was sure that Belle would not just blindly trust any potion Regina had made.  Belle dug through her purse, pulling the dagger out from the bottom of the bag and handed it to Regina.

Regina glanced at the dagger as Belle opened the vial.  The ‘m’ was now completely faded and the ‘p’ was about half faded.  Swallowing hard as she took note of the state of the engraving herself, Belle tapped the vial lightly, allowing three drops of potion to fall onto the dagger.  In a few seconds, Regina was holding a fountain pen, silver with black trim.  There were etchings on the pen which mimicked the engraved design on the dagger.

“And you are sure this will work to change it back to the dagger in New York?”

Regina almost rolled her eyes.  She knew this was something that Belle should already know, but she could understand why it would not immediately come to mind.  “Remember when Rumple enchanted that shawl so he could keep his memories beyond the town line?”  Belle nodded as Regina handed her the pen.  “The potion will retain its magical properties even outside of Storybrooke, so it can still be used.”

Belle recapped the vial and dropped it and the pen into her purse.  “Thank you, Regina.”

“Speaking of the dagger,” Regina said, “I told Emma last night about what we found.  We agreed that it may not be a good idea to tell Henry just how bad things are.  He’s worried, but is so hopeful that you can get there and help.”

“Henry would want to know,” Belle said quietly in a non-argumentative tone.

“Yes, he would,” Regina replied.  “Don’t think that Emma and I didn’t go back and forth on this before deciding, but after what happened with his father – I don’t want my son to lose hope.”

“And if he does find out?”  At the sharp look Regina gave her, Belle quickly added, “By accident?”

“We’ll just have to deal with that when it happens.”  Regina briefly closed her eyes.  She did not want to lose hope either.  They had already lost Rumplestiltskin once.  She did not want to go through that again.  They had been through a lot, had done things to each other that should have been unforgiveable, but now he was probably the closest thing to a friend that she had.

* * *

 

Regina forced her fingers to relax their grip on the steering wheel for what seemed like the hundredth time since they had left Storybrooke just over two hours earlier.  Trying to distract herself from the way the silence in the car – aside from the rustle of pages as Belle and Henry flipped through a couple of the books that Belle had brought along – she grabbed her coffee cup from the center console and took a sip, trying not to grimace at the taste of the now-lukewarm coffee. 

Too bad her magic had quit working as soon as they had crossed the town line.  With barely a second’s thought, she could have reheated her coffee back to the proper temperature.  Apparently, cold coffee was the price she was going to pay for volunteering her car for the trip and insisting on driving.  With as little sleep as she’d had the night before, or rather in the week since Robin had been gone, what had she been thinking?  It had been years since she had suffered through so many sleepless nights.

At least the argument with Emma over whose car to take and driving duties had gotten her blood pumping before they had left.  First, the debate had been over which car to take.  The four of them would not have been _too_ cramped in the Bug, but Emma had not realized how much luggage Belle was going to be bringing with her between clothes for herself and Rumplestiltskin, plus all the books she was hauling. 

Once Emma had realized that taking her car was not an option due to lack of trunk space, it had come down to a choice between Regina’s car or Rumplestiltskin’s.  Knowing that Rumplestiltskin would hate the idea of someone other than Belle driving his car, which Regina might have ignored in other circumstances just to tweak him, she had immediately offered her car - with her as the driver, of course. 

Emma had tried to argue that she had the most familiarity with the world on the other side of the town line, but Regina had refused to turn over her keys.  She had then pointed out that she had been to Boston before, albeit thirteen years ago, when she had adopted Henry.  Before Emma could argue the point, Henry had reminded them that they had no time to waste and needed to get on the road, all but ordering them both to just get in the car.

Emma must have noticed something in her expression, because she reached down and grabbed the thermos she had brought with her.  “Need some more hot coffee?”

Without a word, she held out her cup.  Emma quickly topped it off and handed the cup back.  After taking a sip, Regina still was not satisfied with how hot the coffee was, but at least it was better.

“Should have let me drive,” Emma said, pouring herself another cup of coffee.  “I can’t imagine thirty years as a small town mayor has given you a lot of experience at staying up all night.”

Regina rolled her eyes.  “Shut up, Miss Swan.  I did spend many a night without sleep when Henry was a baby and still managed to work a full day the next day.”

“Mom!” 

Regina glanced at him in the rear view mirror, half smiling at the exasperated look on his face.  “Well, you were a very fussy baby,” she said.  Her attempt at a smile fell as a memory floated to the surface of her thoughts. 

How different would all their lives been if she had gone through with her initial instinct to give Henry up?  She would have lost the one person who made her want to be better.  Emma would have never come to town.  Rumplestiltskin probably would never have known that he had a grandson.  She could finally admit, even if only to herself, that everything had worked out for the best, in spite of everything which had brought them to this point.

“So the memories you gave me were based on Henry’s actual infancy?” Emma asked, curiosity in her voice.

“Of course,” Regina replied with a certain degree of smugness.  “You really think I was going to give you memories of Henry as a calm and placid baby when he was in reality the exact opposite?  Why should your false memories have been better than the reality of mine?”

Emma glanced at her as she set the thermos back down on the floor, rolling her eyes.  “Of course not,” she mumbled.  “Heaven forbid.”

Regina heard an irritated sigh from Belle and looked back to see her snapping closed the book in her hands in frustration, pulling the book light she was using off the book.  “Nothing in here either,” Belle said, shoving the book back into her bag and pulling another one out, affixing the light to the new book.  Holding back her own sigh, Regina turned back to concentrate on the road in front of her.

“You’ve still got plenty of books in your suitcase,” Henry said with his usual optimism.  “Surely one of them will have an answer.  Grandpa’s library is pretty extensive.  There has to be something somewhere.”

“I hope so,” Belle said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll get it, Grandma,” Henry said.  A quick glance allowed Regina to see that Henry was reaching down to pick something up off the floor.   Noting it was a folded piece of paper, she assumed that it had fallen out of the book that Belle had just opened.

A moment later, she heard the rustling of paper and a surprised gasp from her son.  “These notes – they’re in Grandpa’s handwriting,” Henry said, excitement creeping into his tone.  “It talks about something called the Elixir of the Wounded Heart.”

“The Elixir of the Wounded Heart?” Belle murmured as she began flipping through the book in her hands.  “I’ve never heard of it.”

Regina could feel Henry’s hand for a brief moment on her shoulder.  “Mom?” he asked.

She shook her head after searching her memories.  “I haven’t heard of it either,” she replied.  “I never was much into potion making unless it was absolutely necessary.  Even when it was – I got the sleeping curse I used on Snow from Maleficent so that I wouldn’t have to bother myself making it.”

“What exactly is this – this Elixir of the Wounded Heart?” Emma asked, turning in her seat to look at Henry and Belle.

“I found it,” Belle said.  She started reading from the book in her hands.

_The Elixir of the Wounded Heart is among the most ancient of potions, developed by accident during the early age of human magic.  The legendary sorceress Dwynwen was commissioned to develop a potion which might mend the broken heart of a lover, but during her experiments, a recipe was discovered for an elixir which eases physical pains of the heart, not emotional.  In all but the most mild of cases, the potion has proven to be a palliative measure only, not a cure.  For those who are able to make or to procure the potion – which is rare as one of the main ingredients is a night-blooming flower which blooms only once every three lunar years – it offers alleviation of symptoms until a more permanent cure for the affliction can be found._

Regina could hear a page turn.  There was a long moment of silence, then Belle said, “Some of these ingredients are found only in the Enchanted Forest, as far as I can tell.  There are a couple I don’t even recognize.”

Regina glanced back again briefly to see Henry studying the page in his hand.  He held it out to Belle, pointing to something.  “It looks like Grandpa was trying to find some substitutes for some of the ingredients,” he said.  “He wrote down some different ingredients here, but marked some of them out.  He was researching how to make this particular potion here in this realm, using things found here...”

As Henry’s voice trailed off, Regina surmised what he was probably thinking.  Why would Rumplestiltskin have been researching this particular potion?  It was not something that anyone had needed since the curse – either one of them – had been broken.  Had he known…?

She was startled out of her thoughts by a seeming non-sequitur from Belle.  “The Wizard of Oak?” she asked in a puzzled tone, before explaining.  “Rumple wrote that at the bottom of the page with a question mark.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Regina could see Emma’s eyes widen in surprise.  “That – that’s Walsh’s furniture store in New York,” Emma said.

“Your monkey almost-fiancé who was working with Zelena?” Regina said.

Emma rolled her eyes.  “I didn’t know he was a monkey,” she protested.

“So much for your instincts,” Regina said sarcastically.  “You exposed Henry to him and he turned out to be under the thrall of the Wicked Witch of the West!”

“Who happens to be your sister!” Emma retorted.

“I didn’t know she was my sister!”

“Well, I didn’t know Walsh was one of her monkey minions!”

“Mom!” Henry protested, causing Regina to bite back her intended response.

She forced her thoughts back to Rumplestiltskin’s notes.  “What does Zelena have to do with this elixir?” she wondered.

“Did Grandpa think that she had some of it hidden at the store, or maybe some of the ingredients?”

“It’s hard to know what Rumple was thinking,” Regina said.  “He always has been one for keeping things close to the vest.  I suppose you’ll have to ask him when you get to the hospital.”  She tried to push aside the thought that Rumplestiltskin might not be in any condition to tell them anything by the time they arrived.

Henry did not reply.  Regina glanced in the mirror again and saw a look of dawning horror on his face.  “Grandpa was obviously looking into this after – after what happened with Zelena,” he said in a shaky tone.  “Did he know…?”

After his voice trailed off, the silence in the car grew oppressive as they all seemed to realize the implications what Henry was saying.  As Regina glanced back again, Emma reached out and placed a hand on Henry’s knee as he struggled to blink back tears, while at the same time Belle reached over and clasped one of his hand between her own.

“Rumple knew,” Regina whispered.  “He knew there was something wrong with his heart...”

“And he was looking for a way to fix it,” Belle concluded, her voice breaking.  “Oh, Rumple…”

“I wish he had just told us,” Henry said.  “Then maybe everything that happened wouldn’t have.”

Everyone fell silent again.  There seemed to be nothing else to say at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dwynwen mentioned when Belle reads about the Elixir of the Wounded Heart is a Welsh saint who lived in the 5th century. She is the Welsh equivalent of St. Valentine, considered by the Welsh to be the patron saint of lovers. Her feast day of January 25th is celebrated in Wales in much the same way as Valentine’s Day is on February 14th. According to legend, she was the daughter of a king who was unable to marry the man she loved because her father had arranged a political marriage for her. She prayed for a potion to allow her to forget about her love. I adapted that story into the one that Belle finds in her book, with Dwynwen accidentally discovering a potion which would heal physical hurts of the heart.
> 
> In Chapter 10, “Leaving On A Jet Plane,” Belle tries to distract herself by focusing on the new marvels she is discovering in the Land Without Magic, but Henry wants to discuss his father and grandfather and tries to get Belle to talk about why she decided to punish Rumple by banishment.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter: Henry is insistent on going to New York to be with his grandfather while Belle is afraid of risking her heart again.


End file.
